Tuesday , Nov , 13 , 2007 C.Y. Ellis

Coach Dennis Rodman: A Sports Blogger’s Dream

You may have heard that Dennis Rodman put in his application to be the head coach of Atlanta’s new WNBA squad.  The AP quoted him as saying that he loves the city of Atlanta.  Perhaps he forgot that the Gold Club is no longer in business – or, maybe, he knows where it has been reincarnated.  Given his interest in Atlanta, something’s got to be up.  Note to self: Schedule “business-related” trip to Atlanta and send expense receipt to HoopsVibe.   

It’s too bad that the management for the franchise had more sense than to hire him.  Besides the inevitable sexual harassment lawsuit, here are some of the things that we would have had to look forward to: 

Things I’d Like to See Things That Would Frighten Me to See
Carmen Electra look-alike cheerleaders Dennis Rodman look-alike cheerleaders
“Worm” mascot for the team Instead of shooting t-shirts into the stands during time-outs, they shoot DVDs of Simon Sez
Halftime entertainment:
Wrestling bout with Karl Malone
Halftime entertainment:
Wrestling bout with Hulk Hogan
Able to provide fashion advice to his players Watching what he’s wearing on the bench
Providing his players with a vast selection of hair dyes so as to color-coordinate with their uniforms and the opposing team Passing out hair dye at the entrance to the arena to make sure the fans are color-coordinated as well
Able to take out advertising space on his body with tattoos of various products The placement of these tattoos and his requirement to show the ads
It may serve as a platform for his NBA coaching career – you know you want to see that It may serve as a jumping-off point for his return to “acting”
More “reality shows” with Jenna Jameson, Brande Roderick and Jill Kelly Reality shows with WNBA players
Brings current “flavor of the week” to be courtside at games Brings Madonna to be courtside at games
Craig Sager’s wardrobe would look subdued next to Rodman’s Marv Albert’s would not
Tries to recruit current Hawks, dresses them in drag and puts them on the court to win games The Juwanna Mann version of the Hawks still fails to make the playoffs