Thursday , Jan , 17 , 2008 J.N.

The Chicago Bulls Are Done

The Chicago Bulls Are Done

In a continuation of HoopsVibe’s tradition of giving a voice to loyal fans who are mad as shit with their teams, we bring you a special rant from John N.

Dear John Paxson,


You heard it right. It’s over. Let’s mourn together because the next two seasons will be depressing.  Exhibit A.

Noah may look like a rat-faced pussy but he’s one tough kid to stand up to the cancer, the plague that is Ben Wallace. This team is officially in rebuild mode starting now.

It’s depressing since we showed a lot of potential to be something great, but when it takes a big stinkin’ shit. Losing and "taking accountability" has become the mantra.

2007-2008 moves:
1)Fired Scott Skiles. Correct. Great start.

2) Get rid of Ben Wallace. Trade, waive, buy his contract out; I don’t give a fuck. This dude be laughin’ on the bench when we gettin’ blown the fuck out? Fuck outta here.

3) Trade Hinrich. He can’t be labeled as captain or franchise player. He’s a role player. Cannot build around him. Already tried building around him. Doesn’t work. Get the fuck outta here.

4) Trade Duhon. His jumper is broke and he’s a confirmed choker (2004-2005 playoffs)

5) Stop playing the vets so much now. Figure out what the fuck is up with Tyrus Thomas. He needs more playing time for the rest of this season to see if he’s a bust.

6) Do Joe Smith a favor and trade him to a team that can make the playoffs like the Lakers. Since Bynum is out for the rest of the regular season, Smith can come in and produce right away to stop the bleeding. Chicago will not be asking for much in return. Maybe a second round pick and Chris Mihm…whereever that white boy is…

7) Try your hardest to re-sign Gordon and Deng. After all these fuckups and Gordon’s ego being smashed on, I don’t know how you’re gonna do it. Hand the keys to the offense over to these two guys. Rebuild with them. Not around them. Big difference. I would never trade or let these two hard workers walk. Do you know how difficult it is to find guys who love to bust their ass in their summers to improve? Working hard to get better is their summer! They are determined to get better. Get it through your thick skull. You never ever trade that away. Intangible: A+

8) Keep Thabo. He’s playing like shit since Skiles molested him before he left. Give him some confidence back and we’ll see more of what he’s truly capable of. Solid defensive player.

9) Andres Nocioni. NBA Comparison: Antoine Walker (1997-2003). Only plays defense when he wants to. Out of control. Doesn’t know how to channel that energy. Package in trade with Hinrich. I appreciate his hustle, but at this rate, his body will break down fast.

10) Pray that we get top 5 pick. With pick, trade up to try to nab top three. Beasley, DeAndre Jordan, Eric Gordon, Derrick Rose, and maybe OJ Mayo should be heavily scouted.

11) Get a REAL coach who knows how to use bigs.

12) Make a run to nab Elton Brand, Corey Maggette, Jermaine O’Neal, Gilbert Arenas (confirmed that he’s opting out), Antawn Jamison, Shawn Marion, Raef Lafrentz. These dudes will be unrestricted free agents. They’re up for grabs. Keeping Luol Deng, Gordon, Thabo, Joakim Noah, and (maybe) Tyrus will be appealing to these dudes.

13) Last but not least, fire interim Boylan and Ron Adams as soon as the season ends. These dudes aren’t the answer. Playing Wallace heavy minutes. Using three midget lineups. Starting Thabo over Gordon? Are you fuckin’ serious, man? Fuck outta here. Boylan is Skiles version 2.0. These moves cost them their jobs. It’s just a matter of time. Happy trails.

P.S. That rumored Gooden/Hughes deal looks really good. Look into it.

If you don’t get any of these done in the future, you should be tarred and feathered.