Sprite's Freshest Kicks

Home > Features > Articles > Shawn Marion is Dead to Me: I Now Serve My New Shaqtus Overlord.

Shawn Marion is Dead to Me: I Now Serve My New Shaqtus Overlord.

Apr 18th, 2008
Shawn Marion is Dead to Me:  I Now Serve My New Shaqtus Overlord.

Alea iacta est. The die is cast and the Suns are crossing the Rio Grande (here’s a Wikipedia link for those of you who did not study Caesar). Shaquille O’Neal for Shawn Marion was a huge change. The time has come for me to cut all ties with my former favorite Sun. The Matrix carried me through Frank Johnson, Scott Skiles and Danny Ainge. He carried me through Paul Shirley, Jake Suck-a-lidis and Bo Outlaw. He posted 30 and 20 at the first playoff game I ever attended.

Now he is gone.

Before the playoffs start, I need to swear him off forever.

And, he has made it a lot easier to say goodbye.

On the day of the trade, I said that the Suns went “All-In” and now I’m seeing it in the game programs. I also ridiculed the rumor as ludicrous the night before. As I went through the 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance), I bargained for Marion’s return. Apparently, I had been in the “bargaining” stage for a long time – even before the season started.

Part of me was mad at him. If he hadn’t blocked the off-season trade, he could have been playing with Jesus Shuttlesworth and Paul Pierce and the Suns could have had Kevin Garnett. After that, he requested a trade.

Now, he is not going to get the extension he wants. Shocking? No, not to me. All he had to do was drop me an email and I would have told him it wasn’t going to happen.

Somewhere along the lines (I cannot find the link right now), I pleaded with both sides to do an extension for three years and $40 to $45 million.

Now, this:
 

 

For more, visit this link. Pain … I sense pain. It was as if a million voices called out and were suddenly silenced.

Now, however, I serve a new leader:

 The Big Shaqtus
 
Buy your t-shirts here
.

Crossing the river and going over the bridge. Deep stuff. You Buddhists should understand. For those of you who don’t know, read this book (another Wikipedia link, but it’s pretty close).

When he’s upset, he’s known to do certain things – like win championships. Ommm …

 



[top image: thedirty.com]

Comments (4)
ami April 19, 2008
Shawn Marion is Dead to Me: I Now Serve My New Shaqtus Overlord.
Love the t-shirts, Obi-wan. Seems now that the whole team has gone all-in. Goooooooooood.
report abuse
vote down
vote up
Votes: +0
Raul April 21, 2008
Shawn Marion is Dead to Me: I Now Serve My New Shaqtus Overlord.
Do you think Marion was thinking the next time someone is going to take his picture I'll look as ridiculous as possible, if so, he nailed it.
report abuse
vote down
vote up
Votes: +0
bobblehead February 19, 2009
Shawn Marion is Dead to Me: I Now Serve My New Shaqtus Overlord.
awesome article (or whatever it would be called) it was really well written and entertaining. (wow i sound like an english teacher, ew) anyway,nice job, and i love the shirts
report abuse
vote down
vote up
Votes: +0
tiffany June 22, 2009
Shawn Marion is Dead to Me: I Now Serve My New Shaqtus Overlord.
i love him he is the best in my eyes
report abuse
vote down
vote up
Votes: +0

Write comment
smaller | bigger
 

busy