Saturday , Nov , 04 , 2006 C.Y. Ellis

LeBron avec LeFacial (video included)

As I see things, you’ve got three choices, Timothy.

1. Undergo a course of counselling and prescription medication, and hope that you can make a full recovery from the trauma you suffered last night.

2. Lie low for a few months and get some plastic surgery, a beard and a wig, then return to the league undercover as a European.

3. See if the Virgin Islands might still be interested in sponsoring you as a swimmer.

Whatever you choose, you have to do something after the punishment dealt to you by young LeBron James yesterday evening. I mean, the kid straight-up assaulted you, and in front of your own people. If a man made that sort of contact with me in the street, I’d consider it a form of violation; you should, too. I might feel confused and dirty for a while, but at least my shame wouldn’t have been caught on camera for all to see.

Talking of which, we offer you a clip of the assault in question here. A word of warning, however: If you’re eating anything which could potentially become lodged in your windpipe, you might want to swallow before you watch this. Things get {ugly}.

I’m not usually the type to kick someone while they’re down (I lie), but I couldn’t resist posting a similar incident perpetrated by then-Raptor Vince Carter a few seasons back. Let’s hope we don’t see this sort of thing again, Mr. Duncan. If it ever happens again and you find it a little too much to deal with alone, I hear Frederic Weis runs group support sessions every Wednesday; it’s called “Teabagees Anonymous” or something similar.

LeBron avec LeFacial (video included)CYE