Monday , Nov , 20 , 2006 C.Y. Ellis

Isiah Thomas: Eddy Curry’s Doing Fine

Isiah Thomas: Eddy Curry's Doing Fine

While most coaches have the liberty of blaming their roster on a scapegoat from time to time, Zeke is in the unusual position of having to deal with the mess he created. It’s for this reason that Isiah Thomas’ recent comments about Eddy Curry’s “progress” have been fairly moderate. Read on for an example of the triumph of rhetoric over the truth.

"We have a lot of time. We’re not asking Eddy to dominate the league at twenty-three years of age. That’s a tall task for anyone. I don’t remember too many twenty-three-year-olds coming in and dominating, regardless of how long they’ve been in the league. Twenty-three is still twenty-three."

How old is Eddy again? I’d guess he’s twenty-three or so if this is his sixth season out of high school. I do my best not to criticise (watch me lie, America), but from time to time I just can’t help but take a sip of my Haterade and tear the players apart like Michael Sweetney does an ice cream sundae. Do you not think that more than half a decade’s experience in possibly the most competitive sporting league in the world would be enough for most players to begin to realise their potential? Apparently, all Eddy Curry has realised in his NBA career is that most foods taste better with cheese on them. 

I don’t mean to turn this into a fat joke-fest (I lie again), but if there’s anyone I’d expect to watch their weight, it’s a professional athlete with a heart condition. With a belly better suited to sumo than hoops, however, it’s clear that counting Curry’s calories would have Stephen Hawking reaching for the calculator. For the second time today, I find myself having to reproach millionaires for not finding inordinate amounts of cash sufficient motivation to do what’s necessary when 99.99% of the world’s ballers are happy to work their tails off without seeing a penny for it.

He doesn’t exactly help himself with crap like this.

Houston’s 26-year-old, 7-5 center took Curry to school when the teams met in Houston Nov.10, outscoring him 35-7 (on 15-of-21 shooting to Curry’s 2-for-11) and outrebounding him 17-5 in the Rockets’ 103-94 win.

So what’s the plan this time against Yao?

"Don’t let him get 30 or 40 on me," said Curry, who shot 2-of-9 for seven points and sat out the fourth quarter of Saturday’s loss to Boston. "We gotta do somethin’. I mean, Yao went crazy last game."

The next time somebody tells me that the Knicks “didn’t show up last night”, I’m going to take it literally and assume that Eddy Curry ate the rest of the squad. Seriously, I can’t bring myself to do anything more than mock a guy who, despite having access to countless physicians, trainers and nutritionists, chooses to hurt his team by keeping his holiday weight on all year. You’re fat, Curry. Fat. That’s really all I’ve got.