Thursday , Apr , 12 , 2007 Oly Sandor

The Take: Imagining Britney Spears And Luke Walton Together

He just got of rehab for an injury. She just got out of rehab for partying.

He plays next to one of the NBA’s biggest stars. She used to be one of music’s biggest stars.

He’s used to crowds chanting "Luke" after a big performance. She used to crowds booing after a big performance.

Still, wondering what I’m talking about? Several tabloids have reported that , the Los Angeles’ Lakers’ small forward, and Britney Spears, the entertainer, are dating. Yes, dating each other.

These tabloid reports are apparently false and have been denied by both sides. Walton is in a committed relationship with a former volleyball player from Arizona. Spears, clearly, is not in a committed relationship with anyone or anything. How many times was she in-and-out of rehab?

But imagine if these two became a couple:

  • Nobody would get to watch game action between the Lakers and Spurs. ESPN/ABC would spend the entire telecast flashing to Spears and Eva Longoria. For the record, I’ve got no problem with this.
  • Kobe Bryant, Walton’s teammate, would resume his rap career by dropping 16 bars on Britney’s comeback single. Chances are his verse will be hotter than anything K-fed, Spears’ former husband, ever dropped on the microphone.
  • Whenever Bill Walton, Luke’s Dad, and Lynne Spears, Britney’s mom, meet, they would talk at each other. There would be no listening or exchanging of ideas. Consider this Meet the Parents 3, the version from hell.
  • The world-wide paparazzi, in an effort to get pictures of Spears, would start requesting hundreds of press passes from the Lakers’ front office.The players’ entrance at Staples Center would become a red carpet. 
  • Justin Timberlake, another of Spears’ ex-boyfriends, would stop rooting for the Lakers and immediately becomes a Clipper fan.