Sunday , Jul , 29 , 2007 Oly Sandor

‘Ten Tips’ For NBA Commissioner David Stern’s Meeting With Rep. Bobby Rush

Commissioner Stern may have to meet with Democratic Representative Bobby Rush to discuss the Tim Donaghy scandal … This would be a difficult situation for Stern … However, HoopsVibe The Blog decided to give Stern ‘ten tips’ to survive his meeting … Click here to read our tips and give one of your own in the comment box below …

MSNBC reports on a member of  the American government requesting a meeting with NBA Commissioner David Stern:

The chairman of a House subcommittee is requesting a meeting with NBA commissioner David Stern concerning the betting scandal involving former referee Tim Donaghy.

Rep. Bobby Rush, who heads the Subcommittee on Commerce, Trade and Consumer Protection, said he is also considering calling a hearing on the matter “should the facts warrant public scrutiny.”

Here are ‘ten tips’ for Commissioner Stern to survive a meeting with Democratic representative Bobby Rush:

10) Commissioner Stern should send Republican Hawk Donald Rumsfeld. Shock-and-awe the Democratic. 

9) Commissioner Stern should pretend he no longer speaks English. It worked for Sammy Sosa.

8) Commissioner Stern should hire lawyer Jackie Chiles to sit in on his meeting. 

7) Commissioner Stern should never emphasize his points by saying: “Period.”  Remember Raffy Palmeiro?

6) Commissioner Stern should see if Cato Cailin can attend the meeting. It’s been a decade since the O.J. scandal. The infamous house-guest may need work.

5) Commissioner Stern should call Macaulay Culkin, Jay Leno, and Corey Haim as material witnesses on the NBA’s behalf. Time for the big guns.

4) Commissioner Stern should see if NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman is available to take the blame.

3) Commissioner Stern should see if Republican Karl Rove is available to spin the situation. Hey, he got Bush elected-twice! So anything is possible.

2) Commissioner Stern should blow off his day in court and head to ‘rehab’ with Brit Spears and Lindsay Lohan. He could use a vacation after last week’s press conference

1) Commissioner Stern should answer all of Rush’s questions with: “yeah, but the dog fighting and the steroids.”

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