Tell Me How My *ss Tastes
Fat as a jumbo jet, unable to convert a free throw yet, you're done ya wanna bet ? Big Shag Daddy, you were not number 1 in Miami, under D-Wade shadow, you got a ring and then go, you thought you could lift Suns up, all ya did was messing up, half the money you earn is a steal, as you 're always off an try to heal, more DNP than double double, you carreer is flying away like a bubble !!!! Tell Me How My *ss Tastes
This is a special feature from guest blogger Christopher Sells.Shaq's rap career has brought us gems such as "(I Know I Got) Skillz," "I'm Outstanding," "Shoot Pass Slam," "Biological Didn't Bother" and "Can't Stop the Reign." But Shaq has outdone himself with his latest bit of rapping, a freestyle that implores his former teammate: "Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes." Shaq issued the following statement regarding his actions Sunday night through ESPN's Stephen A. Smith: "I was freestyling. That's all. It was all done in fun. Nothing serious whatsoever. That is what MC's do. They freestyle when called upon. I'm totally cool with Kobe. No issue at all. And by the way, don't forget, six albums, two platinum, two gold. Anybody who knows me knows I'm a funny freestyler. Check the NBA DVD when I was rapping about Vlade Divac during my first championship run. Please tell everybody don't make something out of nothing."Totally cool with Kobe? Not only would I not have believed that statement before this weekend, I certainly can't get behind it now that he's publicly suggested that Kobe might know the flavor of his legendary posterior. Also, blaming your divorce on someone you're cool with seems a bit unorthodox. And reminding the people you're cool with of their failures since you've taken separate career paths is probably a jerk move. I can't wait for a reporter at this week's Olympic team minicamp to ask, straight-faced during a news conference, "Kobe, how does Shaq's ass taste?" Please, Kobe, unretire from rapping and make a comeback track. It would make this offseason so much better. [image:http://farm1.static.flickr.com/10/13154778_e26395ffae_m.jpg]
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If it wasn't for d-wade shaq would not have his fourth ring. Shaq knows deep down he wouldn't have three rings without Kobe. report abuse
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got damn French u killed em. i wonder whose ghostwritin 4 Shaq. report abuse
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Shaq is immature, but people make him out to be the G.O.A.T. and that's totally false. Kobe has 10 good years left, Shaq has a medicore 2 left. We'll see who has the last laugh in 2020. report abuse
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I bet his azz stank. Big sweatin motherfu*ker. Blames people when it's his fault, and takes credit he doesn't deserve. That's the Shaq I'll always remember, oh and he wack azz freestyles and free throws. report abuse
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Shaq only won 2 championships. In 2002, the Kings won the championship had the referees did not cheat, as stated by Tim Donaghy, and in the Finals between Miami and Dallas, Shaq was non existent, he playe don the bench the entire fourth because he sucks at the FT. It was all Dwayne Wade who made that team win, and without Shaq theyw ould still have beaten Dallas. report abuse
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Shaq also ripped Kareem ABdul Jabbar, saying he is better. That probably would not get attention since Kobe is more of a media darling, plus ignorant fans worship people who can dunk and show off. Shaq crossed the line by disrespecting a Hall of Famer who is better than him, and won more legitimate championships than Shaq's two. We all know he does not deserve the championship in 2002 against the Kings who got robbed officially, and against the Mavs, when overrated Shaq didnt do sh*t report abuse
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Shaq is a has been. Kobe will have the last laugh because he will have more rings than shaq if this laker team stays healthy. report abuse
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wow u guys just stop its a joke lighten up y'all have no sense of humor report abuse
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Sorry Shaq but Kobe didn't f*ck ya wife good enough to buy him a house, cars, and clothes with ya money, the personal trainer she hired did. That's why ur getting divorced!!!! Shaq is a joke and disgrace to basketball right now!! He had to chance to be a true hall of famer until last night. Freestyle or no freestyle, this guy still wanna hold a grudge with Kobe after all these years. Kobe's gonna be the bigger person because he's moved on. Shaq is nothin more than a cancer to any team he's on now. His play ( or lack of play) contributed to the demise of a promising organization with the Heat. Now he's in Phoenix and can barely run up the court!! Phoenix will never make it out the first round while Shaq's playing. He's obviously is at the final stages of his once respectable career, but attacking Kobe is not the way to go. It was a classless and gutless act. On top of all that, the freestyle itself was sorry as hell!!! He better stick to tryin to be a "rental cop" cause basketball and rapping has departed him!!! report abuse
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Shaq can't blame Kobe.Shaunie left the fat tube of lard for her personal trainer.Shaq, you prick... you got punked by a personal trainer. Shaunie like his thing better report abuse
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LMAO!! All of these posts are funny as hell but curt, yours almost had me peeing on myself! LOL! Thanks for the laugh and everything you said is true! Shaq is nothing more than a has-been and he needs to just give it up and stop hating on Kobe. And you're right, the freestyling just SUCKS!!! report abuse
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Malia, I didn't know Shaunie left Shaq for her personal trainer! OMG, his bedroom skills must match his skills on the court - mediocre at best. LOL! I guess her personal trainer must have some MAD skills in the d*ick department to be able to take her away from Shaq and all that loot he got. Go Shaunie!! report abuse
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espn reports that shaq will loose his sheriff's badge because of this report abuse
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I agree that shaq only won two championships. there are many big men today much better han him and doesn't have to go down his shallow level. shaq is nothing but a punk and the nba just like journalists like stephen a. smith has been kissing amd tasting his ass. kobe must be a better man and ignore this fatso punk pig shaq. report abuse
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I agree with you guys that Shaq only won 2 championships. In 2002 the Kings got cheated and in 2005, Wade did everything to win while Shaq did nothing. Shaq is just too cocky and its good and it is reported that his badge has been revoke with Miami Dade COunty Sheriff. Shaq is full of himself, eventhough he's ugly physically and also a pathetic human being. Shaq aint got game in bed too thats why he's wife is srewing someone else. Shaq is pitiful, a disgrace, a piece of garbage, and most importantly, a LOSER. report abuse
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Shaq is a pitiable, pathetic human being. He is shameful, disgraceful, dishonorable to the game, a has been, a sore loser, lesser genus of species, egotistical, conceited, childish, self-indulgent cry baby, reckless, full of himself as if he is a supernatural being, a portly pig, a whore, a brainless animal, a hobo, a fat brute, a hideous creature, and an ugly representation of the human race. report abuse
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Guys, you guys are being nice here. Those things you said about Shaq is just too nice because he is actually worst. No wonder, Shaunie left Shaq for her trainer because Shaq is a mischievous p.i.g, a gluttonous demon, the clone human version of Shamu, sorry living being, a waste of sperm, weak, loser, immature, an unripe adult, a faggot, a piece of human junk, dumb, laughable and pitiful primate, the uglier edition of big foot, a conceited con, a blabbermouth punk, and an embarrassment to the entire human race and all global species. report abuse
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I'm confused. I thought Shaq was mature, but now I'm convinced he's a fool. He actually repeated that rhyme at least 3 times. this guy shouldn't even be in the league, blaming people for your failures and mistakes in life, that's the phylosophy of a loser. report abuse
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little bit dissapointed in the Big Diss........kobe is such a special player , and never really understood why he is so hated....okay, shaq was in his prime literally unstoppable, but come on, it didnt hurt for him to have a guy like kobe on the team right? kobe needed shaq, but goddamn shaq needed kobe to win those chips....i have all those finals games on tapes and everytime i watch them i see that one two punch, that collaberation; it wasnt just shaq. Kobe is hated, and i hope next time he plays the suns he'll have one of those 'i'm the best offensive player EVER" games.....good articles, keep on writing! report abuse
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shaq should shut his mouth . kobe will have more rings. report abuse
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Well obviously there's a LOT of Kobe fans here or just a LOT of haters. Good grief! I agree that Shaq was trivial in his actions here, but to call him a horrible human being because of it?? Give me a break? The man didn't go out and commit a crime. report abuse
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Nobody in the NBA is cockier than Kobe. He's got the biggest ego in the league. He's a rat faced brat and feels he's entitled to winning whether he plays his best game or not. Lay off of Shaq because Kobe ain't all that special. report abuse
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Wow! You guys are really showing your abhorrences against Shaq. I am neither a fan of Kobe or Shaq, they are both cocky and arrogant, just like Lebron. But Shaq crossed the line here by blaming Kobe for his divorce, saying he is better than Kareem and Ewing, and at the same time saying things to elevate his basketball status. This tremendously demonstrate his arrogance. I am embarrassed that Shaq is a fellow human being. report abuse
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LOL. HAHAHAHA! I CANT STOP LAUGHING ABOUT REESE SAID. "a mischievous p.i.g", a "gluttonous demon," the clone human version of "Shamu", a waste of sperm, " the uglier edition of big foot". HAHAHAHAHA. I HAVENT LAUGHED LIKE THIS FOR A WHILE!!! THIS IS ALL TRUE ANYWAYS! report abuse
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SHAQ IS JUST A BIG TURD! SOMEONE NEEDS TO SHUT HIM DA HELL UP. GOOD THANG DA SUNS GOT WHOOPED AGAIN BY TEAM DUNCAN. NXT YR I HOPE THE LAKERS COME TO TOWN AND SWEEP THE DEFENSE-LESS SUNS. SCREW SHAQ!!!!. I AINT GOT NO LOVE FOR THAT FAT BASTARD! HE IS OBVIOUSLY JEALOUS OF KOBE. GO KOBE GO! report abuse
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Kobe deserved it, he needs to stop bein a baby, man up, and learn to pass the damn ball! By the way how was that spankin laker fans? your ass still sore? HA HA HA Kobe is a ball hoggin, woman rapin, championship losin fairy! report abuse
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Both Kobe and Shaq are cocky. But Shaq is a big mouth moron. I don't like both and I don't care. Shaq crossed the boundary of being a professional to being just a complete jerk. Reese, your comments about him were wonderful, we need people like you who speak the truth. Shaq reminds me of a fat Gaylord Focker. report abuse
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Come on guys, This is a bit much, saying that Shaq is ugly, a sore loser, an ugly representation of the human race, a human replica of SHAMU and an uglier version of BIG FOOT, come on, this is just PLAIN RIGHT! LOL...... report abuse
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'KOBE, TELL ME HOW MY A** TASTE" THATS A CLASSIC FROM THE NEVER- SUPERSTAR SHAQ. WHATS NEXT: "SHAQ, TELL ME HOW MY D*** TASTE"THIS IS PATHETIC. I CANT BELEIVE I DID A REPORT ON SHAQ BACK IN 9TH GRADE CUZ I THOUGHT HE WAS COOL!!!!! report abuse
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lost all respect for shaq........this is a guy whos dissing kobe, kareem, ewing....this is the same guy that cant make free throws? this is the same guy that bandwagons on every team he gets traded to? ha! i hope yao ming comes back and straight dominates the nba so we can forget about sh sh shaqyo shaq....tell me how it feels to make a free throw? report abuse
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SHAQ IS THE MOST ANNOYING, ARROGANT, AND BIGGEST FLABBER MOUTH IN NBA HISTORY. I CANT BELIEVE THE WAY HE MOCKS KOBE WHEN HE HIMSELF CANNOT WIN THE BIG ONE AND LOST IN THE FIRST ROUND WHEN CLEARLY DUNCAN OUTPLAYED HIM AND KICKED HIS SORRY FAT ASS. DWAYNE WADE SAVE HIS ASS IN MIAMI, AND THE REFEREES IN 2002 GAVE HIM HIS RING AND HIS UNDERSERVE FINALS MVP. HE IS OVERRATED AS A PLAYER. THERE WAS NO REASON FOR HIM TO DISRESPECT HALL OF FAMERS LIKE PATRICK EWING OR A BETETR CENTER THAN HE"LL EVER BE, KAREEM ABDUL JABBAR. SHAQ IS JUST JEALOUS AND HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A LOW QUALITY PERSON. report abuse
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Shaq does not even make it to the top 20 best big men in the NBA. He is a sorry loser. Best big men in NBA (Top 20)1. DWIGHT HOWARD, 2. TIM DUNCAN, 3, KEVIN GARNETT, 4. DIRK NOWITZKI, 5. AMARE STOUDAMIRE, 6. ELTON BRAND, 7. CARLOS BOOZER, 8. YAO MING, 9. DAVID WEST, 10. CHRIS BOSH, 11. PAU GASOL 12. JERMAINE O' NEAL, 13. AL JEFFERSON 14.RASHEED WALLACE 15. MEHMET OKUR, 16. TYSON CHANDLER, 17. MARCUS CAMBY, 18. EMEKA OKAFUR, 19. SARUNAS ILGAUSKAS, 20. LAMARCUS ALRDIGE report abuse
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This is a special feature from guest blogger Christopher Sells.