Friday , Apr , 15 , 2011 J.N.

The 2011 Hoopties

It’s that time again for the regular season end awards just like any other television sports show. It is time to pass out the awards. Rather than giving awards for the usual categories such as Most Valuable Player, Defensive Player of the Year, Coach of the Year, Executive of the Year….you get the picture…..let’s focus on categories that truly need to be highlighted – categories that I make up! Who cares about those other official awards anyway? They’re already locked up.

The 2011 Mr. Irrelevant award
Mister Irrelevant is an All Star, or superstar caliber, player who disappeared in to the valley of obscurity and “what could have been.” See Penny Hardaway, (perhaps) Grant Hill, and Yao Ming.

This season’s award goes to Gilbert Arenas. He grew the beard. No one cared. He got away from Agent Zero. No one cared. People started somewhat caring again when he got served court papers at half time during a game. That’s when people laughed. I did not. I just did not care. This downward spiral is interesting to note because his stardom did not vanish because of injuries or drug abuse. It was just about mistakes. Something about a gun and Crittenton, right? He has been sitting on Orlando’s bench. Fans believe he is making a huge comeback in the 2011 NBA Playoffs. Do not hold your breath. Honorable mention – Brandon Roy

The 2011 Glass award
This is also known as the guy who gets injured every single season. He has to be injured again at crucial points. The candidates were Yao Ming, Brandon Roy, and Andrew Bynum. The Glass goes to Andrew Bynum. He just went down again with a bone bruise. He only played in 54 games this season. Why would the Orlando Magic want Andrew Bynum in a trade for Dwight Howard?

The Most Shocking Moment
You probably think that Kobe Bryant dropping a gay slur would win the award. That is actually not shocking. He just caught on camera. The most shocking was Gilbert Arenas being served court papers at halftime. You knew there was baby momma trouble.

The Dumbest Move
The Boston Celtics trading away Kendrick Perkins for Jeff Green tops the list. I’m thinking about it piece by piece. This still does not make any sense. Why trade away your big man enforcer and defensive anchor when he just came back healthy? Danny Ainge always liked Jeff Green yet he committed the cardinal sin by trading big for small. Celtic diehards remain baffled. The trade should have been done in the summer.

The Big Collapse
The Utah Jazz started 15-5 and failed to make playoffs. The foundation of the team was shaken.

The Biggest Rise
No other team and player went through the biggest leap than Derrick Rose and the Chicago Bulls for getting the best record in the NBA at 62-20. They’re also the number one ranked defense.

The What Happened to You award
OJ Mayo. I’m shaking my head. He is no future Kobe that’s for sure. Honorable mention goes to Evan Turner.

The Tank
The award goes to the Toronto Raptors. The Young Gunz moniker was not good enough this year so they unveiled “The Tank.” They’re hoping for Kyrie Irving. Get rid of Jose Calderon first before anything can be discussed.

The Ultimate Troll
This belongs to Clippers owner Donald Sterling who was trolling former Clippers point guard Baron Davis before he got traded. I applaud him. That took guts and a bit of insanity to actually do it. He complained that he wanted his money back during games in front of everyone. Wow. What an owner.

The Biggest Meltdown of a fan base during a losing streak
The candidates are San Antonio’s 6 games, Lakers’ 5 games, and Miami Heat’s 5 games. It was tough to choose, but the Spurs somewhat went under the radar during that time. The Lakers got some publicity. Most people understood that Lakers did not care for the number one seed.

The award goes to the Miami Heat. Fans were shouting “Christina Bosh” or “RuPaul.” Players were crying after the Chicago Bulls beat them. Wow. Interesting stuff.

The Flop of the Year



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