1st Annual “Who Doesn’t Belong on the All Star Ballot”
This is ridiculous, man. Charles Barkley would say, “It’s just turrible.” Some of these guys have no business being on the ballot. Gary Payton raised the issue and I completely agree. The media guys making the decisions on who gets to be on the ballot needs to get their heads out of their ass. The general rule they’re going by is that three players from each team should be on the ballot according to position. That’s stupid. Just make it the three best players overall.
Luke Ridnour: I don’t know. I just don’t know how he got there. He’s a poor man’s Kirk Hinrich. Should have just made it Michael Redd, Richard Jefferson, and Andrew Bogut.
Anthony Parker: Again. WTF? Chris Bosh, Jermaine O’Neal and Jose Calderon.
Raja Bell: What is going on here? He’s only good for that clothesline against Kobe in the playoffs. Perhaps that’s probably good enough.
Monta Ellis: Do these guys follow the offseason or what? The only thing this dude wants to avoid is being waived or traded.
Rafer Alston: He’s just as abysmal as Larry Hughes’ jumpshot. If there was a Rucker Park All Star ballot then Skip 2 My Lou should be on the team.
Michael Conley: What a bust. His dad is better than him.
Gilbert Arenas: Need I say more? He’s only interested in chilling in his million dollar pool playing Gears of War 2 on the HD plasma and beating Nick Young one on one. When was the last time he played a game? He’s somewhat Grant Hill-ish in this era.
Eddy Curry: C’mon man what?
Ben Wallace: Oh my goodness. These guys are definitely not joking around with their selections. Every time he misses a free throw or a layup, hit the Gong! sound effect just for kicks. There will be many of ’em.
Kevin Love: Ok. Ok. Enough. Enough. Just because he’s a top 5 pick in the draft doesn’t mean that automatically makes him to be on there. Spencer Hawes is outplaying him by miles.
Shane Battier: Oh no. He has too many grooves on his head.
Kenyon Martin: Method Man and Jason Kidd do not live here.
Bruce Bowen: He’s great for the crack head defense and that kick to Wally Schreiarreiberek’s face.
Derek Fisher: This has to be a sentimental selection, right?
Nick Collison: Yikes.
So there you have it. Stephon Marbury is on the list, too. You guys might as well vote him in to give him more reason to warrant a full priced buy out from the Knicks. I can picture Gilbert Arenas taking away many votes from someone else more deserving that’s actually playing ball. The media guys such as Ernie Johnson of TNT should think about their selections this way: If they don’t have any business being on anyone’s fantasy basketball squad then they should not be here. I’ve already done my early voting and here are my selections.
C – Al Jefferson (I love the man’s work).
F – Rudy Gay (He’s dying out there in Memphis).
F – Tim Duncan (Old man is boring but still producing).
G – Stephen Jackson (Represent Port Arthur, Texas!)
G – Deron Williams (He was snubbed last year as said by Kobe).
C- Rasheed Wallace (This guy is too funny).
F – Josh Smith (Was that your shot being rejected into the cheap seats?)
F – Danny Granger (The dude knocked his two front teeth out! The two front!)
G – Ben Gordon (Just trying to get him more money for that new contract. He’s gotta make the All Star team for that).
G – Derrick Rose (Lebron James didn’t make the all star squad his rookie year so that should be more reason to get Derrick Rose in).