Thursday , Dec , 11 , 2008 J.N.

Abolish Fan Voting for the NBA All Star Game


Abolish Fan Voting for the NBA All Star GameEarly fan voting returns are in and it’s time to apologize to the Stephon Marbury boosters. Sorry, fellas. He’s not going to the 2009 All Star game in Phoenix. Even though I didn’t vote for him, I was hoping other people pick up the slack. Again, I’m truly sorry. It wouldn’t be so bad seeing Marbury, who has been banished from New York, outshining people with the Starbury logo tattooed on the side of his head. It probably would have made Mike D’Antoni furious enough to shave his porn ‘stache off. Since Marbury is out, let’s start voting for Yi Jianlian and Luke Ridnour. Let’s start this movement. Please keep in mind that a vote for either one of these studs is a vote for change.

Here are the 2009 NBA All Star game early returns for people who do not want to research:

EASTERN CONFERENCE
Forwards 

  • LeBron James (Clev) 643,786
  • Kevin Garnett (Bos) 495,514
  • Yi Jianlian (NJ) 356,556
  • Chris Bosh (Tor) 274,195
  • Paul Pierce (Bos) 153,512
  • Shawn Marion (Mia) 144,066
  • Josh Smith (Atl) 59,574
  • Tayshaun Prince (Det) 56,846
  • Hedo Turkoglu (Orl) 56,006
  • Danny Granger (Ind) 49,752
  • Michael Beasley (Mia) 48,999.


Guards 

  • Dwyane Wade (Mia) 623,311
  • Allen Iverson (Det) 492,093
  • Vince Carter (NJ) 236,634
  • Ray Allen (Bos) 174,155
  • Jose Calderon (Tor) 124,705
  • Luke Ridnour (Mil) 123,104
  • Jameer Nelson (Orl) 116,228
  • Derrick Rose (Chi) 102,263
  • Joe Johnson (Atl) 94,847
  • Devin Harris (NJ) 94,294
  • Gilbert Arenas (Wash) 64,450


Centers 

  • Dwight Howard (Orl) 775,933
  • Samuel Dalembert (Phi) 116,708
  • Rasheed Wallace (Det) 88,885
  • Jermaine O’Neal (Tor) 75,324
  • Al Horford (Atl) 45,284
  • Ben Wallace (Clev) 40,799
  • Andrew Bogut (Mil) 36,479
  • Zyrdrunas Ilgauskas (Clev) 28,022
  • Kendrick Perkins (Bos) 24,777
  • Emeka Okafor (Char) 15,323

WESTERN CONFERENCE
Forwards

  • Tim Duncan (SA) 442,203
  • Amare Stoudemire (Pho) 370,470
  • Carmelo Anthony (Den) 327,233
  • Dirk Nowitzki (Dal) 261,952
  • Pau Gasol (LAL) 260,374
  • Ron Artest (Hou) 214,063
  • Bruce Bowen (SA) 121,739
  • Shane Battier (Hou) 115,981
  • Josh Howard (Dal) 113,456
  • Luis Scola (Hou) 82,344
  • Lamar Odom (LAL) 78,422

Guards

  • Kobe Bryant (LAL) 719,252
  • Chris Paul (NO) 406,220
  • Tracy McGrady (Hou) 332,222
  • Manu Ginobili (SA) 166,981
  • Jason Kidd (Dal) 162,286
  • Tony Parker (SA) 161,638
  • Steve Nash (Pho) 142,410
  • Jason Terry (Dal) 105,345
  • Chauncey Billups (Den) 87,172
  • Brandon Roy (Por) 78,071
  • Rafer Alston (Hou) 73,613

Centers 

  • Yao Ming (Hou) 529,290
  • Shaquille ONeal (Pho) 227,273
  • Mehmet Okur (Utah) 162,139
  • Andrew Bynum (LAL) 155,689
  • Greg Oden (Por) 71,366
  • Andris Biedrins (GS) 65,496
  • Al Jefferson (Minn) 46,242
  • Tyson Chandler (NO) 39,467
  • Marcus Camby (LAC) 25,824
  • Chris Kaman (LAC) 9,104
  • Brad Miller (Sac) 6,892

What does this all mean? Well, it means that the general NBA fan is stupid. However, that doesn’t mean that China is stupid. They don’t get to see many Asians ballin’ in the NBA so of course they’ll vote for them although I did not vote for Yi Jianlian or Yao Ming. It’s just like how Luke Ridnour got this high ahead of uber super rookie Derrick Rose, Joe Johnson, and Devin Harris. People who voted for him probably didn’t vote because of his stats. It’s because there are not many white Americans who resembles The Professor from the And 1 crew. Jason Williams used to be that guy, but he’s retired. Who knows where Kirk Hinrich went?

Here’s my advice for them: start voting for big men like Brad Miller, Andrew Bogut (even though he’s an Aussie), and Spencer Hawes. They’ll automatically give you credibility in your votes if you’re just voting based on skin color because they’re actually good. Stop voting for cookie cutter guards who can’t cut the mustard to be regarded as an All Star. Then again, you might as well keep going because Ridnour has made it this far. Let’s keep it movin’. I hope he makes it over Rose, Johnson and Harris. I mean, he’s more worthy to make it based on skill over those guys, right? Scott Skiles will appreciate that and can finally give Razor Ramon Sessions a big “F*ck you” to his playing time with confidence.

As a fellow Asian, I’m proud that Yi is up there; however, I know he does not deserve to be there because I know he’s not good enough. Of course I knew that hence I didn’t vote for him. Hell, I didn’t vote for Yao Ming either because he’s the real deal who will make it. He’ll get his fair share of millions. Mr. Yao doesn’t need my vote.

Does that make me better than you?

In a cocky, arrogant smirk I say, “Yes I am.”

You know what’s even cooler? Agent Zero, who has lived up to that name by playing zero minutes, has received about 64,000 votes. How can 64,000 people have a lobotomy around the same time? Doesn’t anyone realize that he’s just worried about playing Halo 3 online? Same goes for Ben Wallace. I know the East is bad in producing centers, but c’mon bro. Take his votes and share it accordingly to Big Z in Cleveland and Andrew Bogut.

What the fuck? moments:

  • The hell is Greg Oden doing up there? He’s received more votes than Andris Biedrins who is currently beasting in Golden State.
  • Bruce “Crazy Crackhead Defense with the Kung Fu grip” Bowen is currently averaging 3 points and 2 rebounds. He gets that crazy amount of all star votes for that? Sign me up on a team. I think I can do that, too.
  • Shane Battier has missed a lot of games to start this season and he’s right behind Bruce Bowen. I appreciate the worldly knowledge he has though. And the grooves he has on his head.
  • Brandon Roy is greatly underrated.
  • Where is the 2nd best point guard in the NBA Deron Williams? WOW. Kobe Bryant was right. He’s getting robbed. Again.
  • The Verbal Agreement Carlos Boozer should have gotten many votes, yet Bruce Bowen, Gilbert Arenas, Ben Wallace, Luke Ridnour, Shane Battier received more votes than him?
  • David West? Anyone? Anyone?

You’ll probably just say, "Hey man. We can vote for anyone we want."

I agree. It’s America. Yet there’s also a wall of stupidity we have to jump over. That’s why I’m here.

I’M HERE TO SAVE THE NBA. YOU’RE WELCOME.

Abolish the entire fan vote altogether. General fans are just too stupid. Either wait for 20 games in to release the ballots or just have owners, general managers, coaches, assistant coaches, broadcasters, waterboy, trainers, and players vote. I don’t trust sports writers, other than myself and the other writers here, to vote. They’ll just screw it up like the Steve Nash 2 MVP thing.

Force the change. Vote for change.

Keep voting for Yi Jianlian and Luke Ridnour because they truly deserved it.

[image:http://www.flickr.com/photos/daquellamanera/73686445/]