2008-2009 NBA Fantasy Player updates: Trade? Drop? Who fell off? Who rose?
25+ games into the season; who do you want for Christmas to improve your fantasy basketball team? To show some courtesy, I’m copying and pasting what I wrote before the season started for comparison for the lazy guys out there. I’m watching the 50 Cent Rodney Stuckey lighting up the Bulls for 40 points. That still doesn’t get him to crack into my top 20 fantasy player rankings for this season.
The PER stat, also known as efficiency, does not do a good job of rewarding defensive stats such as steals and blocks. Personally, I put a hefty premium on those because defensive numbers are already difficult to get. Scoring is easy, but people like to see that 20 points per game on any player for some reason. In essence, PER is not the “end all be all” that other stat guys make it out to be; it’s a stat for nerds who couldn’t get laid so they had to find a way to pass the time. Hence, the invention of the PER stat arrived thanks to John Hollinger for people who doesn’t watch the games; they just look at numbers in white and black. I’m not saying that the PER is all bad, but it shouldn’t be looked at as the single thing to judge a player’s game. That would be retarded. Then this opened the Pandora’s Box of other copycat PER stats. Why does anyone else want to compete with this? WHY? Oh my goodness, why? Why make your own derivative stat? To prove what? To prove that your stat is superior? It’s just numbers, man. It’s nothing serious compared to people losing jobs and homes.
Used to be Yao Ming
20) Vince Carter or Kevin Durant
WHY for Carter: He’s still getting those numbers. He’s still a fine quality fantasy player. 23 points, 5 rebounds, and 5 assists is superb.
WHY for Durant: He’s improved his FG percentage. He’s getting 1.1 steals and almost a block a game.
Used to be Rudy Gay
19) Baron Davis
WHY: He slipped, but he’s still good even though Clips still suck.
Used to be Kevin Durant
18) Yao Ming
WHY: He still hasn’t gone down with a knee injury…yet.
17) Al Jefferson
WHY: Nothing’s changed. Still good.
Used to be Danny Granger
16) Rajon Rondo
WHY: 7.5 assists, 2.4 steals. He also had a triple double game and doesn’t seem to be stopping any time soon.
Used to be Baron Davis
15) Joe Johnson
WHY: He’s having a great season. Keep the uninterested look going, Joe.
Used to be Shawn Marion
14) Brandon Roy
WHY: What’s his potential? How good can he be? His game is too milky smooth too ignore. 52 points, 6 assists, 5 rebounds, 14-27 FG, 19-21 FT, 5-7 3PT is a Michael Jordan type performance.
Used to be Steve Nash
13) Kevin Garnett
WHY: Steve Nash is slowly regressing, but KG didn’t regress that bad. He’s out of the top 10, but that doesn’t mean he sucks. He stays a good all around player still capable of getting steals and blocks.
Used to be Allen Iverson
12) Marcus Camby
WHY: Unlike Iverson, Camby still hasn’t shown signs of slowing down. I can only say amazing; a defensive juggernaut for the sucky Clippers. Allen Iverson is getting a pot belly.
Used to be Deron Williams
11) Danny Granger
WHY: Deron Williams is fat. Utah fans really hate Derrick Rose of the Chicago Bulls because they think Rose purposely hurt Deron in the preseason. One fan (on a particular message board) even said that he hopes someone steps on Rose’s scrotum. Look. The kid slashed himself in bed. What more do you want you sadistic jerks! Utah fans still salty over MJ it seems. Despite that, Deron’s game has taken a huge step back especially in the scoring and field goal department. He lost the number 11 spot. Danny Granger got 2 front teeth knocked out and he still played tough. Go get ‘em, tough guy.
Used to be Elton Brand
10) Tim Duncan
WHY: Oh no. Brand is done. Elton Brand shouldn’t belong on anyone’s top 20. Tim Duncan, the OG of the stone face before Greg Oden, is still doin’ the damn thing. 20.7 points, 10.6 rebounds, 3.2 assists, almost 2 blocks, 70% FT, and 52% FG.
Used to be Kevin Garnett
9) Chris Bosh
WHY: He’s the new number 9 just because he has to deal with the rest of the team I call “basura.” He gets good numbers so far, and with that, his output warrants the 9 here. I think he’s going to slip because why would anyone want to play hard when he doesn’t have a shot at the playoffs? Let’s get Master P and crew to roll in the gold plated tanks from the “Make ‘em Uhhh” video so everyone can remember what they’re trying to accomplish and that is to lose games on purpose for a top 3 pick. On the other hand, KG doesn’t play heavy minutes as expected.
Used to be Josh Smith
8) Devin Harris
WHY: I overrated Josh Smith too much. I thought he was going to average 4 blocks and 2.5 steals a game. I man up to my shit. I was wrong. Harris emerged out of nowhere averaging 24.4 points, 3.3 rebounds, 6.7 assists, and 1.5 steals. I better not hear someone saying, “See? I told y’all he was going to be good.” What would I say to that? “Oh hell nah. You didn’t see that at all. No one did. Not even Devin’s own mama saw this. Not even the white British guy who punked him on YouTube saw this coming. Hell, not even Devin Harris himself saw this coming. I bet he sold his soul to the Devil after that YouTube debacle. Yeah…that explains it.”
7) Caron Butler
WHY: Nothing changed. He’s still getting similar numbers as last season. The problem is his team sucks so bad, he can’t increase his stats further because the team is not competitive. He’s not moving because the team stinks so good; Butler is the only lone bright spot. I pity them, but I’m sure they don’t give a shit with their millions of dollars.
Used to be Dirk Nowitzki
6) Amare Stoudemire
WHY: He slipped 2 spots, but that’s no cause to rant on a message board. I’m not going to put him over Kobe at this time.
Used to be Dwyane Wade
5) Dirk Nowitzki
WHY: Moved up one spot. Doing the usual things he’s known to do. He still doesn’t get enough blocks for a man his size. Nothing surprising here. He’s great so move along.
Used to be Amare Stoudamire
4) Kobe Bryant
WHY: My expectations for him were probably too high. He’s still Kobe-good though, but not spectacular like Wade. Don’t get mad, Kobe lovers. He just went down one spot. No big deal. Kobe is not better than Wade this season. Yeah, what? WHAT?
Used to be Kobe Bryant
3) Dwyane Wade
WHY: His PER is 27.65. He’s doing everything he can for the Heat to remain competitive. 28.8 pts, 5.1 rebounds, 7 assists, 2.2 steals, 1.6 blocks.
Used to be Chris Paul
2) LeBron James
WHY: Sure, he’s a trip-dub threat every game, but the Cavs as a team is playing really well. Half the time, the Cavs are in some blowout so Bron’s minutes will take a hit, which means his production will take a slight hit. I expected 33 points, 8 rebounds, 9 assists, 2.5 steals, and 1.5 blocks. How you disappoint me, Bron Bron.
Used to be LeBron James
NOW 1) Chris Paul
WHY: He grabbed 5 steals in the first quarter against the Los Angeles Lakers. That’s a reason why. He’s currently averaging 20.3 pts, 5.3 rebounds, 11.8 assists, and 3 steals coupled with 89% FT, 51% FG. He is the undisputed fantasy god with a PER of 30.7; unreal, insane, and unbelievably disgusting. If you don’t have Paul, but have James…trade LeBron for Paul right now. I mean it. Right now. Bow down to your master.
Disagree with me as usual? Of course you do. Voice your opinion on who should be on the list, who should be higher or lower…