Khloé Kardashian: Lamar Odom Has Better Personal Hygiene than I Do
With a frame that would serve her well in the NFL and a smile that causes my testicles to retreat to my abdominal cavity for safety, you'd hope that Double-K would at least have the good sense to keep herself clean. Unfortunately, we now know that in her totally-not-phony marriage, she ranks second on the personal hygiene leaderboard. We are aware of this fact because Khloé Kardashian herself confessed to OK! Magazine that husband Lamar Odom is cleaner than she. To up the creep factor, she also added this horrifying detail:
"[Lamar Odom] is constantly cleaning down there."
You ever wonder why he scrubs his hairy valley so often, Khloé? Because you, apparently, do not. If my dingle-dangle were ever to enter that particular Kardashian, it would be time for the steel wool and bleach. It's more likely, though, that my dork would join my manberries in hiding before such an event could take place.
Oh, and if you see Barack Obama come down with anything from a heavy cold to mild rabies in the next few weeks, you'll know who's responsible.