What do the players think? If the media’s coverage thus far is anything to go by, the response has generally been negative. Among the most vocal opponents to the changes are Marcus Camby and Allen Iverson, who summed up his stance with the quote above. The Cambyman went a little goofy in suggesting that the league should give the players a stipend to purchase the necessary clothes, but raised a legitimate issue in pointing out that it would be highly impractical to attend coaching clinics while dressing within the rules. Also opposed are Kenyon Martin, Mark Pope (both are said to have called the NBA Players’ Association with their feelings) and Deshawn Stevenson, whose criticism centred on having to dress in such clothing for late-night flights following the front end of back-to-backs.

 

Some, however, seem to have reacted to the news somewhat more positively. Steve Francis, for one, went on record as saying “We’re paid well enough to wear some nice clothes”, and Eduardo Najera, Jerry Sloan and others have been quoted similarly. Others have taken a third way, claiming that they are not opposed to the rule per se, but rather certain features of it, with the requirement of a sport coat being cited as the offensive requirement by many.

 

What does David Stern think? Here’s what he said: “The dress code is, to me, a continuation of things…It’s a small thing that contributes to a sense of professionalism. It’s what the job entails.”

Here’s what he meant: “After years of solid work improving the NBA’s image, Ron Artest ran into the stands and took me right back to square one. Even if I can’t force every one of these millionaires act properly, I can ensure that they at least look respectable.”

Dave knows as well as anyone that, although the real fans are in it for the game, the big money comes from families, the consumers most likely to be affected by the marketing and common perception of the league. While the clean-up job following the Malice at the Palace may have taken the Pistons’ custodial staff a few days, D-Stern’s work continues as he gently coaxes the audience holding the disposable income back to the arenas. The response will obviously be anything but spontaneous, but mothers and fathers who may have otherwise believed the stereotypes which portrayed NBA players as thugs will, when faced with these well-dressed young men, gradually change their perceptions, whether knowingly or not. At least, that’s the idea.

What do I think? I’m mixed on this one. As a fan, it simply makes no difference to me, but that may be because I have enough of a knowledge of the way the league works to realise how insignificant this sort of change is. Those new to the game, however, may be swayed by these subtle marketing shifts, although most would likely pay them no heed. In short, they’re not fooling me with this one, although I’m not part of the demographic they’re targeting anyway.

As a cynic, I can only consider this another of Dave’s attempts to make the NBA appeal to the lowest common denominator. The more we see the league robbed of its idiosyncrasies, the less we (those who truly love it) hear of the quirky incidents that add spice to a product which is already wildly entertaining. Try to list the reasons you enjoy NBA basketball, and I doubt many of them will make reference to dress guidelines, press conference protocol or many of the thousands of other rules designed to draw the masses at the expense of the faithful. While I may appear a little dramatic for suggesting that this will have a detrimental impact upon the game as a whole, it should be noted that it is not this proposed rule, but rather the precedent it sets that should be seen as the threat. If they start to dictate what the players can and cannot wear when they’re not even in the public eye, what comes next? I hate to think.

Let us know your thoughts on this matter by commenting in the box below or by emailing me directly at CY.Ellis@HoopsVibe.com. Until the next edition of The Blog, take it easy.

- CYE 

 

 

 

Having dropped the majority of the muscle he gained prior to the trial, Kobe last year looked his weakest since his rookie season. While hardly a pushover, he was noticeably lacking power in the post where previously he had been running over all but the sturdiest of defenders. Now, with the extra armour, he’s less susceptible to minor injuries and better suited to a spot down low if Phil’s plans call for it.

 

 

Kobe’s former teammate and long-time nemesis Shaq did likewise, packing on an extra ten pounds of beef to better cope with the beatings on the block. While The Diesel had previously worked hard to drop weight, opting for mobility over mass, it transpired that the trade-off was not a favourable one come crunch time. With the season on the line, The Man of Steel looked more like Tin Man, hobbling hopelessly on a thigh that, lacking the padding that had previously protected it, sustained a hard shot and never fully recovered. If Big really can go back to his “alien roots” and throw his weight around as he did in his glory days, the defenders of the world will be at his mercy once more.

 

 

What is there to say about two players that have exceeded all expectations in only their second season? In the past I’d evaluate their performances objectively and attempt to put their achievements into perspective, but I soon gave up on that. Now, I simply break out the popcorn and wait for the highlights to come. If you can’t enjoy watching this pair, you’re probably following the wrong sport.

 

 

Guess who’s bizack. That’s right: the man who took fan participation to a new level. Will he be the same player he was before? I don’t know. Will he shut defenders down like the Ron-Ron of old? I don’t know. Will he be one of the most entertaining characters in the league regardless? Most definitely. Whether or not Mr. Artest will handle his on-court affairs as he once did is yet to be seen. What’s guaranteed is that he’ll do at least one thing next year that makes even his family scratch their heads and wonder exactly what he was thinking.

 

 

While his consistency is laudable, Andrew Bogut has the sort of game that doctors prescribe as a remedy for insomnia. Marv, on the other hand, has displayed the type of patchy brilliance that always makes for good viewing. Even as a key player on a championship-winning team televised internationally on a weekly basis, he remains an unknown factor having spent his college career backing up fellow ’05 draftee Sean May. Now as the face of an Atlanta franchise rebuilt (or rebuilding – I forget which line they’re currently spinning) for the umpteenth time, he has a chance to step out of his teammate’s substantial shadow and prove that he deserves to have been selected so early.

 

 

 “What the f*** is that dude thinking?”

 

My reaction to the news that Jax was to rejoin the purple and gold may not have been phrased particularly eloquently, but it was characteristic of the general response. However, having learnt over the years that Phil normally knows best, I retracted my previous exclamation and adopted the wait-and-see attitude. Cynics suggest that money and Ms. Buss drove the decision, but I’m inclined to believe that P.J. knows something we don’t. If that’s the same something that earned him all those rings, the Lakers are in line for a better season than most predicted.

 

 

Having seen how he toyed with Timmy D and the Spurs in Phoenix’s losing effort in the playoffs last year, I’m no longer sure that there’s anyone who can stop STAT if he really wants it. With Q and J.J. sporting new uniforms this year, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Amaré lead the league in scoring. It may be a bold prediction to the purists who hate to admit that athleticism alone can make for such numbers, but it’s a realistic one nonetheless. Just don’t forget where you heard it first.


That’s all for today, folks. Until the next edition of The Blog, take it easy.


- CYE 

Until the next edition of The Blog, take it easy.

- CYE

 

 

 

“Who slams harder: Onyx or Vince Carter? Onyx!”

Slam Harder - Onyx

 

I beg to differ. Vince might have his haters, but he still has his hops, even if he does break them out less often now. In terms of consistently finishing dunks that cause me to drop whatever it is I’m holding or cough up anything I’m eating, Vince might be the best ever. As a young ‘un, he pulled the rabbit out of the hat on a nearly nightly basis, completing the type of plays that few other athletes would attempt to perform even in an empty gym. With the perfect physique for the task and the creativity of a musician (he played the saxophone in high school and was even offered a scholarship as a result), Vince is, to many, the ultimate dunker. Whether or not that is the case, there’s little doubt that he takes the title for the greatest facial ever. If you can throw down a tomahawk so filthy that your victim becomes famous as a result, you might just be the best that ever did it.

 

 

Although a little longer than your average leaper, Smith is still capable of jamming with the best of them. His dunk contest performance is obviously what first comes to mind for most, but many forget some of the monster stuffs he produced during the season. His being a lefty benefits him here as he often catches defenders by surprise as they position themselves to block a right-handed shot and find themselves on a poster a split second later. With a vertical which must be approaching forty inches and a wingspan that allows him to hold the ball away from anyone who comes between him and the goal, Smith is one of the few athletes in the league who regularly takes off with the intention of simply going over any obstacles in his path.

 

While Ricky might be most famous for a jam he didn’t complete (the through-the-legs tomahawk he blew on the break), he still deserves a mention among the league’s elite dunkers for the scalps he has taken through the years. Many swingmen prefer to finish with twisting layups and gentle floaters in the lane, but Tricky has a thing for slamming it home in traffic, whether he has a clear look at the basket or not. Perhaps the best example of this came when he broke free on the baseline against Detroit and was met by Mehmet Okur at the bucket. Instead of lofting the ball over the defender or attempting to shoot around him as any normal player would, Ricky decided instead to cock it back and wait until Okur had run out of hang-time before throwing it down his throat. Also noteworthy was the breakaway spike against the Mavericks which saw him nearly clear Steve Nash, who, despite having made a career out of good judgement, thought it a good attempt to try to take a charge.

 

 

With the development of his mid-range game and the addition of a number of pull-up and turnaround moves to his arsenal, it looked for a brief while as if Kobe’s best dunking days were behind him. However, two vicious, gravity-defying reverse double-handers (against New York and Utah, if memory serves) were enough to remind us why he won the dunk contest all those years ago. Then, to confirm that he was still as bad as ever, he served fellow prep-to-pro player Dwight Howard a testicle sandwich, welcoming the young player to the league with one of the highlights of the year.

 

 

The only big besides Big to regularly dunk over multiple defenders from a stationary start, Amaré finishes from above the rim as often as any player in the league. With the exuberance that you’d expect from a young millionaire with the legs of an impala and enough upper body strength to clear out all but a few of the league’s forwards and centres, STAT is a regular in the nightly highlight reels, where he can be seen abusing the rim while the mere mortals sent to defend him watch in awe.

 

 

Sorry, Shawn. 

 

 

 

He may only be able to jump double-footed, but that doesn’t stop him putting down some of the meanest windmills you’ll ever see. While he doesn’t often replicate his dunk contest form during the regular season, it’s spectacular when he manages it. Another player cast in the mould of the classic dunker (6’6’’, 220-something), he’s at his best when he finds himself alone on the break, where he’s not afraid to get a little creative. If only he could learn to jump off one leg, we could have seen him serve up far more facials than he has in his career.

 

 

For a man who stands around 6’1’’ tall in his socks, Steve Francis is a true anomaly. Even though we’ve seen him do it countless times before, it still comes as a surprise whenever he ends up on the rim. Despite his stature, it’s not uncommon to see him challenge the trees down low, and more often than not he comes off victorious, leaving a bewildered giant wondering how exactly he ended up on the floor with a pair of Reeboks swinging above his head.

 

 

 

D-Mase is one of those who seems to go quiet for a while only so as to make more of a commotion when he bursts back onto the scene. A former dunk contest champion, he occasionally comes up with a play so ridiculous that I refuse to believe the tape is genuine. If anybody saw his alley-oop last year (and if you did see it, you’ll know which one I mean), you’ll be wondering why he wasn’t mentioned earlier.

 

 

Two words: Boston Nachbar. Ugh.

 

 

The King may not be the most creative of the bunch (I can’t have seen more than three types of dunkfrom him), but he more than makes up for this by rising high enough that you really begin to think it might be the shoes. Furthermore, if you’ve seen what he did to Damon Jones, you’ll be wondering why I’m bothering to justify his inclusion at all.

 

 

That’s all there is for now, but check back soon for the next edition of The Blog. Until then, take it easy.

 

 

- CYE

To enter the contest, either post in the comment box below with the image number, email address and your caption, or send a message to me directly at CY.Ellis@HoopsVibe.com. The only rules are that your captions need to be fairly clean and funnier than mine (this should be easy). The reader to submit the best caption will receive a HoopsVibe headband in the mail. 

 

 

1

 

Antoine: “You’re trading me? I’m going to start shooting from the backcourt then.”

Mark: “Just forget I said anything.”

 

 

2

 

 

Ben: “That’s right, Larry. Now grab my right hip and spin me.”

 

 

 

3

 

 

Earl: “Remember your self-defence classes, Earl. Stand tall and aim for the groin.”

Shaq: “Why is he looking at my groin?”

 

 

 

4

 

Rasual: “Stop it!”

Baron: “But I’m not touching you!”

 

 

 

5

 

 

Jason Hart: “What just happened?”

Referee: “You got knocked the f**k out, man!”

 

 

 

6

 

Dick Bavetta: “I said left leg blue, Derek.”

 

 

 

7

 

LeBron: “Damn, Jeff, what have you been eating?”

Jeff: “I swear that wasn’t me. I think Z forgot to shower again.”

 

 

 

8

 

Violet Palmer: “I don’t care if you were the MVP; you can still talk to the hand.”

 

 

 

9

 

Bill: “Luke, I am your father.”

Luke: “Like that one never gets old, Alf.”

 

 

 

10

 

Darko: “Twelve hundred more and Darko get to carry bags for team.”

 

 

 

That’s your lot, folks. Get those captions coming in, and check back on Thursday to find out who won the contest. Until the next edition of The Blog, take it easy.

 

 

- CYE

Let’s get right into it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As always, you can reach me with your comments, questions and suggestions via email (CY.Ellis@HoopsVibe.com) or the box below. Until tomorrow’s edition, take it easy.

 

 

- CYE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I’m a ghetto-type guy. I’ll be ghetto for the rest of my life. But at the same time, there’s a lot of kids who look up to me. For that, I’ll change." – Ron Artest

 

 

 

 

 

 

"It’s like the same team from last year with me scoring a lot of points and them losing games. It’s pretty much the same thing. They’re going to be looking for another addition next year. Hopefully, they can get another draft pick. They’ve got good players. They’re good guys. They work hard. The guys who came from here really know how to win games. You could turn it around, but you’ve got the two guys up top . . . it’s going to be hard to turn it around. Bicycle. Monkey. Ashy Larry." – Ricky Davis

Okay, so he didn’t actually say that last part, but just because he doesn’t talk like a psycho doesn’t mean that all is well in Rickyland. Davis Ricky player promising a is, but something right is quite not. See my point? Much like a jumbled sentence, the individual components are there with Ricky, but when they’re out of order, the end result can seem a little screwy.

 

That said, he’ll forever be one of my favourite players exactly because of that kooky streak. Do you remember when he blew a through-the-legs dunk on the break, gathered his own board and, shunning the easy layup any other player would have taken, finished with a windmill. If that doesn’t warm a part of you, you might have no soul.

They say a picture paints a thousand words, so the mini-montage below should save you and I a very long article detailing the facets of ’Toine that make him so special. Gentlemen, behold The Shimmy, the ill-advised shot, and an image of sheer Antoininity.

 

Something to do with Shaq? No. A shot at his alleged alienation of teammates? No. A critique focusing on his decision to take forty shots one game and virtually none the next? No again. As with Antoine, it’s an image which tells the story here.

 

 

 

Why, Kobe? You’re clearly an intelligent man, yet you do something so utterly nonsensical as to make me wonder if somebody drugged you. Why on earth would you cheat on this lady under any circumstances? I emphasise that not only because Mrs. Bryant should be a fine (in all senses of the word) enough partner for any man, but also because of the quality of her temporary stand-in. My mother taught me not to think of women as meat, but I still can’t help wondering why Kobe would choose hamburger when he has steak at home. To top it off, he spent four million dollars apologising, putting a rock on Vanessa’s finger with a value more than ten times that of my house. Whatever happened to flowers?

 

 

After a freshman season at UF which saw him earn the nickname “Wild Child” as a result of three suspensions and one decision to quit school, we had our suspicions. When the erratic play and disturbing demeanour continued into his rookie season, we were pretty sure something was wrong. Then came multiple fines for heckling the fans (including one incident in which he simulated shooting at them with a machine gun), the drug-related suspension, and the “WHIT EBOY” tattoo across his knuckles, along with a Japanese phrase elsewhere alleged to translate roughly as “F*ck Y’All”. While that was enough to put him in the “Two sandwiches short of a picnic” category, it wasn’t until he snatched a pen from a reporter’s hands in the locker-room following a loss that he confirmed that it wasn’t only his jumpers that were off-balance.

 

 

With more than a few nutcases left unmentioned, we may return to this in a coming edition of The Blog. For now, I’m going to try to figure out why the first three on this list number among my favourite players when they make The Mad Hatter look like Tim Duncan. Get back to me via email (CY.Ellis@HoopsVibe.com) or the comment box with your suggestions, feedback or questions. Until tomorrow, take it easy.

 

 

- CYE

 

The Big Everything is still the man. The numbers may have fallen off a little, but that’s a natural consequence of his efforts to involve the team more. If there’s a defender around that contain him one-on-one, they’re certainly not making themselves known, and until the time comes when he can no longer drop twenty and ten while shooting well over fifty percent from the field, he’ll still be the best of the bigs in my books. With a few nagging injuries shaken and Miami’s roster upgraded, he’ll be in line for another year of monster dunks, violent swats and general abuse of the unfortunate souls who find themselves standing in Shaq’s shadow.

 

 

Yo, Yao, when are you going to make it happen for real? You might be the second-best true centre in the league, but come on; there can’t be more than three or four of you. How are you going to be 7’5’’ and block only two shots a game? How can you have the highest standing reach in the league and grab only eight boards a night? How is it that you clearly know how to score yet finished last year behind Jalen Rose in points per game? Please don’t think I’m one of the haters, though. In truth, I’m a big fan, which is exactly why I want to see more from you.

 

I suppose I’m being unfair. You’ve shown signs of improvement, and you managed to up your averages in the playoffs, but that only made us hungrier. There’s no shame in taking second place behind Shaq, but does it need to be by so much? You haven’t done badly so far, Yao, but we’re still waiting for that extra something the scouts saw in you a few years ago.

 

 

 

Big Z might be Big Zzzz to some of you, but that doesn’t detract from the fact that he’s one of the few left in the league to play the pivot as it was intended to be played. Whether he’s hogging up space in the lane, knocking down jumpers from the elbow or worming his way to the hoop with surprising agility, he does all that’s expected of him. Consider also that he’s second in the league in offensive rebounds per game and that he has played in an average of eighty contests over the past three seasons, and it’s not hard to see why Cleveland is so in love with the oversized Lithuanian.

 

 

As a former defensive player of the year, Big Ben should be ranked better than fourth, but it’s difficult to fathom giving him a higher spot when he is yet to average ten points a game for an entire season. It’s impressive that a man so undersized (ignore the generous listing on NBA.com) for the centre position that he once tried out at off-guard could hold his own, particularly when he manages to contain players sometimes six or seven inches taller than he is. However, even a centre near the top of the league in both blocks and boards can’t hope to move higher than this when they aren’t able to put the ball in the bucket more than once a quarter.

 

 

The league’s second-leading shot-blocker might be nicknamed “Mr. Glass”, but when he’s on the floor and healthy, he’s still one of the most dangerous big men around. What’s more, despite the frequency of his injuries, he remains one of the more athletic fives in the league, capable of running the floor with the youngsters and finishing with a monster stuff. Just ask Greg Ostertag what happened the last time he came between the Cambyman and the bucket, and the look on his face will tell you what a threat M.C. continues to be in a league severely lacking in serviceable centres.

 

 

Note: Given that he started alongside Primoz Brezec for the majority of the year, Emeka Okafor was considered a power forward for the purpose of these rankings.

 

 

As always, you can reach me at CY.Ellis@HoopsVibe.com or by leaving a message in the comment box below. Check back again tomorrow for another special edition of The Blog. Until then, take it easy.

 

- CYE