- This was Ron’s first home game since the you know what. He was received warmly by the crowd, and responded with one of his trademark dribble-drive moves, stumbling this way and that before finishing with an improvised teardrop. Even his game looks crazy.

 

- Ron-Ron also treated the crowd to a preview of his new jumper, which, even when not falling, looked a hell of a lot smoother than it did last season.

 

- The Pacers played in their old uniform. Are they wearing it as a retro strip already?

 

- Mehmet Okur threw down a ridiculous right-hander off of a slick baseline spin. It’s as if he forgot that he sucked for a moment.

 

- Deron Williams freaked Sarunas Jasikevicius with a nasty crossover. They don’t play like that in Europe, huh?

 

- Does it sound wrong to anyone else when Sik Vicious (holla if you catch the reference) is referred to as a rookie? I’ve seen the guy in and around Europe and the Middle East for years now.

 

- On the sidelines, Jermaine and Jeff Foster were looking sharp in their suits. Somewhere, David Stern is rubbing his hands together and laughing maniacally.

 

- Deron Williams had a nice night, finishing with seventeen and six (and only one turnover).

 

- Austin Croshere hit all thirteen of his attempts from the charity stripe. Ron missed only one of his eleven.

 

 

 

- Big Ben made Bogut look as if he’d rather be back in Utah than in the league, bullying him into missing all four of his shot attempts.

 

- Ben roused the crowd with an athletic put-back dunk, showing up the three defenders who failed to box out. Somebody needs to go to the NBDL for that one.

 

- Mo’ Williams did his best Iverson impersonation, donning an elbow sleeve and dropping nineteen points in twenty-five minutes. However, he finished the game with more turnovers (three) than assists (two).

 

- Flip has introduced a series of old-school backdoor plays to Detroit’s offensive set, several of which led to easy alley-oops. It doesn’t seem as if they’re missing Coach Larry yet.

 

- People will rave about Darko’s ten-point, nine-rebound performance, but he still looks lost and awkward to me.

 

- The Bucks managed not to record a single block in the game.

 

- After so long away from the game due to a career-threatening spinal injury, it tickles me to see T.J. Ford sitting for a “sprained left index finger”.

 

- The way they list “Lindsey Hunter – Arthroscopic surgery left ankle” makes it sound as if he’s having the operation while the game is going on.

 

 

 

- Eight Nets scored eight or more points on the night.

 

- Felton made his Charlotte debut, struggling with his shot (three of nine from the floor) and finishing with ten points in nineteen minutes.

 

- Charlotte shot a filthy thirty-one percent from the floor. That’s bad even for a second-year expansion team.

 

- Both Sean May and Emeka Okafor sat out, the former in recovery from his summer knee surgery.

 

 

- Hayes, Butler and Antonio all had nice games, and all three are competing for the starting guard spot alongside Gilbert Arenas. Caron may shift to the three, but that still leaves more players than spaces. Who’ll be the sixth man this year?

- You know it’s the preseason when Beno Udrih drops an easy twenty in twenty-seven minutes. You also know you’re a fan when your spell-checker already has the words “Beno” and “Udrih” programmed in.

 

- Awvee Storey scored twelve in the contest. In other news, “Awvee Storey” may be the greatest name I’ve heard this year.

- Caron had four thefts.

 

- Interestingly, the Hornets didn’t stink. Still, it’s only the preseason.

 

- Did anybody know that Alex Garcia – all 6’3’’ of him – is listed as a guard-forward?

 

- Vo’ Lenard struggled, missing ten of his twelve attempts, a bad sign for a pure shooter.

 

- I know George Karl doesn’t like rookies, but giving Linas Kleiza and Julius Hodge a combined fourteen minutes in a preseason game is just ridiculous.

 

- How is Mark Pope still in the league? Also, when is somebody going to mention that hair of his? He looks like that military cat from the Street Fighter games.

 

 

For any questions, comments or suggestions, you can contact me directly at CY.Ellis@HoopsVibe.com or via the comment box below. Until tomorrow, take it easy.

 

 

- CYE

Until then, we’re left with the preseason for amusement, which, for the real fan, is more than enough following a summer of longing looks at the calendar, with the first of November underlined, circled and asterisked in permanent marker. I know I’m not the only one.
 
Let’s take a quick look at last night’s games.

 

 L.A. Lakers 101, Golden State 93

 

The big story here was the return of Phil Jackson and his reunion with the Love/Hate king, Mr. Kobe Bryant. The fact that it was held in Hawaii restricted coverage severely, meaning that it was also just about the only story reported.

 

Notes:

 

- Kobe scored twenty-four in the first half, finishing the game with twenty-eight, shooting ten of nineteen. Like his hero, KB8 just doesn’t know when to take it easy.

 

- B-Dizzle (he prefers it to “B-Diddy”) put in a sloppy seventeen, with ten of them coming from free throws. The Warriors were said to have looked poorly conditioned in the latter stages of the game.

 

-  Smush Parker started. Nobody knows why.

 

- Monta Ellis looked horrible all night, connecting on only one of his seven shot attempts. Welcome to the league, rookie.

 

 

For Houston fans, this was the first chance to see D.A., Brains and Skip running with the Rockets. However, even with the new additions, it was three returning stars – Yao, Tracy and A.I. – who hogged the limelight.

 

Notes:

 

- Iggy had a slick reverse dunk coming off a backdoor cut.

 

- T-Mac contributed to the highlights with a series of twisting layups, looking as confident attacking the basket as he ever has.

 

- It looks as if Yao used his time away to work on his jumper. If he can add a consistent fifteen-footer to his repertoire, he’ll be a big step closer to reaching his advertised potential.

 

- However, The Great Wall looked tired late in the game, noticeably dragging his legs when running back on defence. Given that this was the first summer he has had to himself, it’s understandable that he’s lost a little of his fitness.

 

- Does Allen Iverson ever age? Even after all the injuries, he still darts from one spot on the court to the next like a startled goldfish.

 

- Rafer looked very comfortable running Houston’s offence. They’ve made a great acquisition there.

 

- Stro’ was given a “Did Not Play – Coach’s Decision” prior to the game, delaying his debut.

 

 

 

With the messy business of his signing well in the past, Atlanta fans can sleep a little easier having seen Joe Johnson finally suit up for the Hawks. They were also treated to their first look at Marvin Williams, although it turned out to be a night they’d probably rather forget.

 

Notes:

 

- I don’t buy the idea of J.J. as the primary point guard. The seven assists were a promising sign, but the six turnovers were most definitely not.

 

- Two of six from the field, four rebounds, five fouls and three turnovers? What happened, Marvin?

 

- Dwight Howard looked sharp, missing only one field goal en route to fifteen points.

 

- Forty-first pick Mario Kasun impressed, hitting seven of ten and snatching seven boards. However, like many a European before him, he seems destined for insignificance once the regular season tips off.

 

In the early nineties, this would have been one of the sickest match-ups in the league. As it is, they’re once again a pair of talented teams more than capable of playing entertaining basketball.

 

Notes:

 

- Flip Saunders was received warmly by the Detroit crowd prior to the game. Having recently lost Larry Brown, I think they recognise and admire the loyalty Flip had for Minnesota.

 

- B.W. threw down a nasty two-handed alley-oop on Tyson Chandler, who should have known better than to step to Big Ben.

 

- Darko gave us half a reason to remember he existed, scoring seven points in twenty-four minutes on the floor.

 

- He also gave us reason to forget about him when Michael Sweetney bullied him all over the floor with the greatest of ease. If Ron Artest added ten pounds of muscle, couldn’t Darko bulk up even a little?

 

 

Notes:

 

- LeBron sat this one out, with several minor pains cited. “Abdominal strain” was given as the official injury.

 

- Paul Pierce seems to have binned the headband, going bare for the first time in a while.

 

- Brian Scalabrine made his first appearance for Boston. Something about a redheaded man wearing a green jersey that reads “Celtics” just seems right.

 

- P.P. absolutely killed Luke Jackson on one of his patented step-back moves.

 

 

Notes:

- Ron-Ron was back in the house. The crowd booed him lightly in the early stages of the game, but soon gave up.

 

- Vince still has his bounce, and he used it to spike home an airballed shot by Nenad Krstic early in the game.

 

- Another dunk contest champion, Fred Jones, helped pad out the highlight reel, this time with a fast-break alley-oop.

 

- Anthony Johnson was looking as tubby as he ever has.

 

- Zoran Planinic had the highlight of the game, hitting the winning layup with a little under six ticks left on the clock. Sadly for him, it might also have been the highlight of his career.

 

Notes:

 

- Shareef and Bonzi played their first games for Sacto.

 

- ‘Reef’s knee braces were so substantial that I wondered if his legs would fall apart if he removed them. I don’t blame New Jersey for passing him up now.

 

- Like Paul Pierce, Brad Miller also appears to be playing sans headband this year.

 

- The Mavericks shot sixty-seven percent from the field in the first half.

 

 

Until tomorrow, take it easy.

 

 

- CYE

 

What do the players think? If the media’s coverage thus far is anything to go by, the response has generally been negative. Among the most vocal opponents to the changes are Marcus Camby and Allen Iverson, who summed up his stance with the quote above. The Cambyman went a little goofy in suggesting that the league should give the players a stipend to purchase the necessary clothes, but raised a legitimate issue in pointing out that it would be highly impractical to attend coaching clinics while dressing within the rules. Also opposed are Kenyon Martin, Mark Pope (both are said to have called the NBA Players’ Association with their feelings) and Deshawn Stevenson, whose criticism centred on having to dress in such clothing for late-night flights following the front end of back-to-backs.

 

Some, however, seem to have reacted to the news somewhat more positively. Steve Francis, for one, went on record as saying “We’re paid well enough to wear some nice clothes”, and Eduardo Najera, Jerry Sloan and others have been quoted similarly. Others have taken a third way, claiming that they are not opposed to the rule per se, but rather certain features of it, with the requirement of a sport coat being cited as the offensive requirement by many.

 

What does David Stern think? Here’s what he said: “The dress code is, to me, a continuation of things…It’s a small thing that contributes to a sense of professionalism. It’s what the job entails.”

Here’s what he meant: “After years of solid work improving the NBA’s image, Ron Artest ran into the stands and took me right back to square one. Even if I can’t force every one of these millionaires act properly, I can ensure that they at least look respectable.”

Dave knows as well as anyone that, although the real fans are in it for the game, the big money comes from families, the consumers most likely to be affected by the marketing and common perception of the league. While the clean-up job following the Malice at the Palace may have taken the Pistons’ custodial staff a few days, D-Stern’s work continues as he gently coaxes the audience holding the disposable income back to the arenas. The response will obviously be anything but spontaneous, but mothers and fathers who may have otherwise believed the stereotypes which portrayed NBA players as thugs will, when faced with these well-dressed young men, gradually change their perceptions, whether knowingly or not. At least, that’s the idea.

What do I think? I’m mixed on this one. As a fan, it simply makes no difference to me, but that may be because I have enough of a knowledge of the way the league works to realise how insignificant this sort of change is. Those new to the game, however, may be swayed by these subtle marketing shifts, although most would likely pay them no heed. In short, they’re not fooling me with this one, although I’m not part of the demographic they’re targeting anyway.

As a cynic, I can only consider this another of Dave’s attempts to make the NBA appeal to the lowest common denominator. The more we see the league robbed of its idiosyncrasies, the less we (those who truly love it) hear of the quirky incidents that add spice to a product which is already wildly entertaining. Try to list the reasons you enjoy NBA basketball, and I doubt many of them will make reference to dress guidelines, press conference protocol or many of the thousands of other rules designed to draw the masses at the expense of the faithful. While I may appear a little dramatic for suggesting that this will have a detrimental impact upon the game as a whole, it should be noted that it is not this proposed rule, but rather the precedent it sets that should be seen as the threat. If they start to dictate what the players can and cannot wear when they’re not even in the public eye, what comes next? I hate to think.

Let us know your thoughts on this matter by commenting in the box below or by emailing me directly at CY.Ellis@HoopsVibe.com. Until the next edition of The Blog, take it easy.

- CYE 

 

 

 

Having dropped the majority of the muscle he gained prior to the trial, Kobe last year looked his weakest since his rookie season. While hardly a pushover, he was noticeably lacking power in the post where previously he had been running over all but the sturdiest of defenders. Now, with the extra armour, he’s less susceptible to minor injuries and better suited to a spot down low if Phil’s plans call for it.

 

 

Kobe’s former teammate and long-time nemesis Shaq did likewise, packing on an extra ten pounds of beef to better cope with the beatings on the block. While The Diesel had previously worked hard to drop weight, opting for mobility over mass, it transpired that the trade-off was not a favourable one come crunch time. With the season on the line, The Man of Steel looked more like Tin Man, hobbling hopelessly on a thigh that, lacking the padding that had previously protected it, sustained a hard shot and never fully recovered. If Big really can go back to his “alien roots” and throw his weight around as he did in his glory days, the defenders of the world will be at his mercy once more.

 

 

What is there to say about two players that have exceeded all expectations in only their second season? In the past I’d evaluate their performances objectively and attempt to put their achievements into perspective, but I soon gave up on that. Now, I simply break out the popcorn and wait for the highlights to come. If you can’t enjoy watching this pair, you’re probably following the wrong sport.

 

 

Guess who’s bizack. That’s right: the man who took fan participation to a new level. Will he be the same player he was before? I don’t know. Will he shut defenders down like the Ron-Ron of old? I don’t know. Will he be one of the most entertaining characters in the league regardless? Most definitely. Whether or not Mr. Artest will handle his on-court affairs as he once did is yet to be seen. What’s guaranteed is that he’ll do at least one thing next year that makes even his family scratch their heads and wonder exactly what he was thinking.

 

 

While his consistency is laudable, Andrew Bogut has the sort of game that doctors prescribe as a remedy for insomnia. Marv, on the other hand, has displayed the type of patchy brilliance that always makes for good viewing. Even as a key player on a championship-winning team televised internationally on a weekly basis, he remains an unknown factor having spent his college career backing up fellow ’05 draftee Sean May. Now as the face of an Atlanta franchise rebuilt (or rebuilding – I forget which line they’re currently spinning) for the umpteenth time, he has a chance to step out of his teammate’s substantial shadow and prove that he deserves to have been selected so early.

 

 

 “What the f*** is that dude thinking?”

 

My reaction to the news that Jax was to rejoin the purple and gold may not have been phrased particularly eloquently, but it was characteristic of the general response. However, having learnt over the years that Phil normally knows best, I retracted my previous exclamation and adopted the wait-and-see attitude. Cynics suggest that money and Ms. Buss drove the decision, but I’m inclined to believe that P.J. knows something we don’t. If that’s the same something that earned him all those rings, the Lakers are in line for a better season than most predicted.

 

 

Having seen how he toyed with Timmy D and the Spurs in Phoenix’s losing effort in the playoffs last year, I’m no longer sure that there’s anyone who can stop STAT if he really wants it. With Q and J.J. sporting new uniforms this year, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Amaré lead the league in scoring. It may be a bold prediction to the purists who hate to admit that athleticism alone can make for such numbers, but it’s a realistic one nonetheless. Just don’t forget where you heard it first.


That’s all for today, folks. Until the next edition of The Blog, take it easy.


- CYE 

Until the next edition of The Blog, take it easy.

- CYE

 

 

 

“Who slams harder: Onyx or Vince Carter? Onyx!”

Slam Harder - Onyx

 

I beg to differ. Vince might have his haters, but he still has his hops, even if he does break them out less often now. In terms of consistently finishing dunks that cause me to drop whatever it is I’m holding or cough up anything I’m eating, Vince might be the best ever. As a young ‘un, he pulled the rabbit out of the hat on a nearly nightly basis, completing the type of plays that few other athletes would attempt to perform even in an empty gym. With the perfect physique for the task and the creativity of a musician (he played the saxophone in high school and was even offered a scholarship as a result), Vince is, to many, the ultimate dunker. Whether or not that is the case, there’s little doubt that he takes the title for the greatest facial ever. If you can throw down a tomahawk so filthy that your victim becomes famous as a result, you might just be the best that ever did it.

 

 

Although a little longer than your average leaper, Smith is still capable of jamming with the best of them. His dunk contest performance is obviously what first comes to mind for most, but many forget some of the monster stuffs he produced during the season. His being a lefty benefits him here as he often catches defenders by surprise as they position themselves to block a right-handed shot and find themselves on a poster a split second later. With a vertical which must be approaching forty inches and a wingspan that allows him to hold the ball away from anyone who comes between him and the goal, Smith is one of the few athletes in the league who regularly takes off with the intention of simply going over any obstacles in his path.

 

While Ricky might be most famous for a jam he didn’t complete (the through-the-legs tomahawk he blew on the break), he still deserves a mention among the league’s elite dunkers for the scalps he has taken through the years. Many swingmen prefer to finish with twisting layups and gentle floaters in the lane, but Tricky has a thing for slamming it home in traffic, whether he has a clear look at the basket or not. Perhaps the best example of this came when he broke free on the baseline against Detroit and was met by Mehmet Okur at the bucket. Instead of lofting the ball over the defender or attempting to shoot around him as any normal player would, Ricky decided instead to cock it back and wait until Okur had run out of hang-time before throwing it down his throat. Also noteworthy was the breakaway spike against the Mavericks which saw him nearly clear Steve Nash, who, despite having made a career out of good judgement, thought it a good attempt to try to take a charge.

 

 

With the development of his mid-range game and the addition of a number of pull-up and turnaround moves to his arsenal, it looked for a brief while as if Kobe’s best dunking days were behind him. However, two vicious, gravity-defying reverse double-handers (against New York and Utah, if memory serves) were enough to remind us why he won the dunk contest all those years ago. Then, to confirm that he was still as bad as ever, he served fellow prep-to-pro player Dwight Howard a testicle sandwich, welcoming the young player to the league with one of the highlights of the year.

 

 

The only big besides Big to regularly dunk over multiple defenders from a stationary start, Amaré finishes from above the rim as often as any player in the league. With the exuberance that you’d expect from a young millionaire with the legs of an impala and enough upper body strength to clear out all but a few of the league’s forwards and centres, STAT is a regular in the nightly highlight reels, where he can be seen abusing the rim while the mere mortals sent to defend him watch in awe.

 

 

Sorry, Shawn. 

 

 

 

He may only be able to jump double-footed, but that doesn’t stop him putting down some of the meanest windmills you’ll ever see. While he doesn’t often replicate his dunk contest form during the regular season, it’s spectacular when he manages it. Another player cast in the mould of the classic dunker (6’6’’, 220-something), he’s at his best when he finds himself alone on the break, where he’s not afraid to get a little creative. If only he could learn to jump off one leg, we could have seen him serve up far more facials than he has in his career.

 

 

For a man who stands around 6’1’’ tall in his socks, Steve Francis is a true anomaly. Even though we’ve seen him do it countless times before, it still comes as a surprise whenever he ends up on the rim. Despite his stature, it’s not uncommon to see him challenge the trees down low, and more often than not he comes off victorious, leaving a bewildered giant wondering how exactly he ended up on the floor with a pair of Reeboks swinging above his head.

 

 

 

D-Mase is one of those who seems to go quiet for a while only so as to make more of a commotion when he bursts back onto the scene. A former dunk contest champion, he occasionally comes up with a play so ridiculous that I refuse to believe the tape is genuine. If anybody saw his alley-oop last year (and if you did see it, you’ll know which one I mean), you’ll be wondering why he wasn’t mentioned earlier.

 

 

Two words: Boston Nachbar. Ugh.

 

 

The King may not be the most creative of the bunch (I can’t have seen more than three types of dunkfrom him), but he more than makes up for this by rising high enough that you really begin to think it might be the shoes. Furthermore, if you’ve seen what he did to Damon Jones, you’ll be wondering why I’m bothering to justify his inclusion at all.

 

 

That’s all there is for now, but check back soon for the next edition of The Blog. Until then, take it easy.

 

 

- CYE

To enter the contest, either post in the comment box below with the image number, email address and your caption, or send a message to me directly at CY.Ellis@HoopsVibe.com. The only rules are that your captions need to be fairly clean and funnier than mine (this should be easy). The reader to submit the best caption will receive a HoopsVibe headband in the mail. 

 

 

1

 

Antoine: “You’re trading me? I’m going to start shooting from the backcourt then.”

Mark: “Just forget I said anything.”

 

 

2

 

 

Ben: “That’s right, Larry. Now grab my right hip and spin me.”

 

 

 

3

 

 

Earl: “Remember your self-defence classes, Earl. Stand tall and aim for the groin.”

Shaq: “Why is he looking at my groin?”

 

 

 

4

 

Rasual: “Stop it!”

Baron: “But I’m not touching you!”

 

 

 

5

 

 

Jason Hart: “What just happened?”

Referee: “You got knocked the f**k out, man!”

 

 

 

6

 

Dick Bavetta: “I said left leg blue, Derek.”

 

 

 

7

 

LeBron: “Damn, Jeff, what have you been eating?”

Jeff: “I swear that wasn’t me. I think Z forgot to shower again.”

 

 

 

8

 

Violet Palmer: “I don’t care if you were the MVP; you can still talk to the hand.”

 

 

 

9

 

Bill: “Luke, I am your father.”

Luke: “Like that one never gets old, Alf.”

 

 

 

10

 

Darko: “Twelve hundred more and Darko get to carry bags for team.”

 

 

 

That’s your lot, folks. Get those captions coming in, and check back on Thursday to find out who won the contest. Until the next edition of The Blog, take it easy.

 

 

- CYE

Let’s get right into it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As always, you can reach me with your comments, questions and suggestions via email (CY.Ellis@HoopsVibe.com) or the box below. Until tomorrow’s edition, take it easy.

 

 

- CYE