Wednesday , May , 05 , 2010 Hoopsvibe

Dwyane Wade, Gabrielle Union Shoot Down Estranged Wife’s Foreplay Accusation

The saga continues for Dwyane Wade and estranged wife Siohvaughn Wade (née Funches). After a horribly messy divorce which involved accusations that Dwyane gave his former lady an STD and that his children no longer recognized him, it looked as if things were finally quieting down.  Not so, evidently.  After settling into a new relationship with model/actress Gabrielle Union (who took the third spot on our list of the NBA’s 25 Hottest Wives and Girlfriends), things were looking up for Wade’s personal life.

Enter Siohvaughn. This time, she’s filing a lawsuit on behalf of their children, aged 8 and 2, against Wade for engaging in "extreme and outrageous conduct" with Gabrielle Union in front of the minors. In the suit, that conduct is described as "sexual foreplay". Wow. So what’s the legal distinction between "sexual foreplay" and, uh, not sexual foreplay? What do you have to touch or tweak before it becomes "extreme and outrageous" conduct? I guess we’ll find out soon enough.

Naturally, Dwyane isn’t taking this one lying down. Ahem. 

"I am shocked that Siohvaughn Wade has brought this baseless and meritless lawsuit in the name of our children against Gabrielle Union…I am deeply saddened and disappointed that Siohvaughn has used our sons once again as pawns and is now lashing out at Gabrielle, who is an innocent party. It is clear that this is a desperate attempt to retaliate against me for seeking sole custody of our children and requesting that the court have her undergo a psychiatric examination."

Well, that’s new. Snippets of information pertaining to this clusterf*ck have been hitting the web for many months now, but this is the first I’ve heard of Wade requesting that his ex undergo psychiatric evaluation. This is yet another indication of just how ugly the situation has become.

Characteristically, Gabrielle Union’s response was cool as a cucumber. Speaking through a rep, she apologized to the court for having to deal with "with erroneous claims when there are real victims who should be receiving the legal attention they need." Translation: Bitch, please.

Update: Some new passages from the lawsuit have hit the net, and they’re mighty entertaining.

"Defendant has played sexually explicit roles, including roles as a seductress. Defendant has apparently decided to take her role beyond the films and into the home of a married man, Dwyane Wade, in the presence of his two minor children."

Scandalous. Sadly, I’ve never seen any of the "sexually explicit roles" Union is said to have played. In fact, I don’t think I’ve seen her in anything other than Bad Boys II. The suit also goes on to state that the plaintiffs (that is, the 8- and 2-year-old boys) suffered emotionally when they received "medium size gifts" from Dwyane for Christmas while Gabrielle Union received "the biggest gift of all". Hold on: Does this mean we can sue our family for unappreciated Christmas gifts now? If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to dig up my novelty socks from Xmas ’99 and find an attorney.

Update 2: This just keeps getting worse. Here are some more accusations made in the suit:

-  Dwyane has told the children on occasions that Gabrielle Union will be their new mother soon.

- Dwyane has told the children that he is divorced from Siohvaughn. They are currently in the midst of the divorce proceedings, but still officially married.

- Around Christmas 2009, Dwyane took the children to his bedroom and showed them a picture of him kissing a woman. He then, in an "obviously orchestrated meeting", brought Union into the home and introduced her to the boys as his girlfriend. He then told them that she was going to be his wife and told them "that is why your mom and I are going to divorce."

- Zaire, now 8, "nearly drowned" while playing unsupervised by the pool at night, and it was Dwyane’s mother, Jolinda, who ran outside to save him.

- Speaking to a child representative afterwards, Zaire "literally wrapped his arm" around the representative’s and asked him to "put his father in jail first"  so that he wouldn’t have to go back to "the house where the woman kissing daddy lives."

- On one occasion Gabrielle Union drove the boys to the park and placed Zaire, then 7, in the front seat. Zaire said "If she would have crashed, I would have got killed."

- Zaire has since developed anxiety, which "physically manifested in significant hair loss causing bald spots" among other things.

Let us know what you think of this giant mess by leaving a comment below.

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