Dating A Basketball Junkie
Dating a Basketball Junkie.
I was once in love with a major junkie, a basketball junkie. My long-term ex-boyfriend was the head writer/producer of a very popular national cable T.V. sports show.
He loved watching basketball, playing basketball, listening to basketball on the radio, and talking about basketball. I think he even dreamed about basketball! Because of his job, he was privy to some inside information, often of the salacious variety–for instance which professional players wives’ would give their husbands condoms before road trips and which players were well endowed, as well as which ones weren’t.
Having a boyfriend who worked on a sports show definitely had its perks. I was lucky enough to meet the very charming, seven-foot-tall John Salley. Also, I performed in a comedy sketch with Dennis Rodman, which made my little brother in Chicago think I was very cool. Although I myself have never been a big sports fan, I’ve always enjoyed going to Laker games. (Personally, I like going anywhere that serves vodka and caramel corn.) Sitting not too far from the floor at the Staples Center, while my boyfriend couldn’t take his eyes off the game, I would always be looking around the arena to see whether or not Jack Nicholson and Leonardo di Caprio were in the audience. The Kiss Cam was my favorite part of the game, and of course, I was always trying to learn new moves from the world famous Laker Girls.
Meeting the players and going to the games were a lot of fun, but there was a downside too. I am a girl who requires a great deal of attention from the man I love. When we would go out to breakfast, my basketball junkie boyfriend would have his nose in the sports page of the newspaper instead of talking to me. We had to revolve our social life around which basketball games were on, so instead of fancy dinners, we often ate at sports bars or places where he could watch the game. At home, there was always a game playing on T.V., and since he worked in the industry, he claimed that it was super important that he watched each and every one. Also, the games were always playing on the car radio, once again making it impossible to have a normal conversation. He played pick-up games every Wednesday night and Saturday morning, which he took extremely seriously. The thing that irritated me most was that the night before his basketball games, he abstained from sex because as he explained, he needed to conserve his energy. I very bluntly reminded him that he was playing in a league at Fairfax High, not the NBA, but this did not change his position on the self-imposed “no sex before the big game” rule.
On the bright side, basketball season ends in June. However, this is only good news for the ladies if their boyfriends aren’t baseball junkies as well, like mine was. And unfortunately, there’s no caramel corn or Leonardo di Caprio at Angels Stadium. Trust me, I would know!