Marko Jaric Marries Adriana Lima
Despite riding the pine for a cellar-dwelling Grizzlies squad and shooting a princely 29.9% on the season, Marko Jaric will go down as one of the greatest players in history for a recent off-court achievement. The word on the web is that Jaric, known to most as "the dude dating Adriana Lima", has taken his career to the next level by becoming "the dude who married Adriana Lima". According to the eminently doinkable Ms. Lima’s MySpace page, the pair secretly tied the knot on Valentine’s Day.
By this point, some people know about my big news! Yes, I like to keep my life personal but I did become married on Valentine Day to the love of my life. I am SO happy inside and I want to spread my love!
The marriage was very small and not most friends and family could attend because it was a quick decision. Luckily, we will be having another wedding this summer that will be a bigger event!
We have not decided where it will be because my family is in Brasil and Marko is from Serbia. It will be great no matter where!
And finally, there are rumors of me pregnant. I just cannot say.. YET! .
Following in the footsteps of fellow beardy Euro Tony Parker, Jaric’s marriage sees him become the more-talented-but-less-famous half of a shorts-skirt couple. Given his new wife’s claim to have saved herself for marriage, he also presumably finds his testicles in a somewhat less smurfish hue. (That’s a blue balls joke, kids.)
Could getting hitched signal a return to form for Jaric? It seems not. In the three games since he became Mr. Adriana Lima, he has shot a combined zero-for-ten from the field, contributing zero points and six turnovers in three Memphis losses. Can’t really blame the guy, though. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised to see "DNP – Chafed Penis" on the scoresheet.