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Ryne NelsonWritten by: Ryne Nelson - Ryne Nelson is a senior at the University of Illinois, where he founded and commissions the University’s first and most competitive fantasy basketball league.He was born with an innate sense of (...) More  
 
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Manning and Harrison

  By Ryne Nelson
11.14.2005 - Updated on 10.16.2006

I don’t pretend to care about professional football (or football at any level for that matter), but according to my AP-wired brain, Peyton Manning and Marvin Harrison became first-ever’s today. Hooray...
Props to the first NFL quarterback-wide receiver tandem to hook up for more than 10,000 career yards. Tip your glasses. Well done, boys. You made American history.
 
Okay, hold up y’all. I want to clear your football-washed knoggins for just a sec and ramble on…Why are we so flippant about sports milestones when we can praise some GREAT news going on in our athletics-sheltered lives?
 
This is real, very serious.
 
How about the man today, who after only three years being diagnosed with AIDS, now tests negative? Yes, a London man may be carrying the cure for AIDS right now. This could mean the end of protected sex forever!
 
Tell me why we’re not running raving mad about the lab in South Korea that perfected a cloning technique that turned a sheep into a dog? This news is flippin’ tremendous! What’s next? Bye bye annoying little cousin, hello quiet goldfish?
 
Tell me a good one why anyone should care about the Orioles dropping steroid attics Rafael Palmeiro and Sammy Sosa more than the Hubble Space Telescope bringing in photos of stars just in the process of being born!
 
These pictures of dozens of hot, blue, high-mass stars are 210,000 light-years away and have yet to undergo thermonuclear fusion (the phenomenon that powers stars). They’re roughly 3 to 5 million years old, but still…this is outrageous and mind-boggling!
 
Why care about the Bears winning five straight? Or New England coming from behind twice in the second half, finally pulling off the winning scoring score with 2:16 left?
 
Why care about football and baseball when science is changing the world almost daily? Well, friends, you don’t! There’s only one underappreciated and misunderstood sport that deserves headlines amidst the things that really matter.
 
You guessed it, Bob. B-ball is the grand winner again! Fo sho!
 
Why care when extraterrestrials like LeBron James, Carter, Arenas, Marion, Bryant, T-Mac, Iverson, Wade and Ben Wallace can literally fly without the help of science?
 

Because even science can’t explain them.




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