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Marko Jaric Accused of Sexual Assault [Update: No Charges Will Be Pressed]

03.13.2009 - Updated on 03.13.2009

About thirty minutes after posting this piece, we received the following message:

Statement from Attorney Bruce L. Castor Jr. on Behalf of his client Marko Jaric:

“I received official word from the Philadelphia District Attorneys office that after a thorough investigation no charges will be filed against my client Marko Jaric, (an NBA player for the Memphis Grizzlies), in connection with the alleged incident with an unnamed female on February 11, 2009 while his team was in town to play the 76ers.

Persons in Marko’s position are often the target of malicious statements and it is not unusual for the police to be asked to investigate. However, these allegations were proved to be completely false, and while Marko is extremely unsettled by these accusations, he is happy that the law enforcement authorities have cleared him of any criminal conduct and the issue can now be put to rest.”

So that’s that. What follows is what we wrote when the story first dropped.

According to SI.com, Marko Jaric is being investigated for sexual assault. That, at present, is all that is known about the situation.

If it is true that Jaric acted improperly towards the Philadelphia woman in question, we also know this: He is an early contender for the 2009 Fuckwit of the Year award. Why, when you’ve just married a Brazilian supermodel, would you so much as think of looking elsewhere, let alone follow Little Marko into a situation that, at best, will result in you taking a massive step down from your current wife.

I once met a small-time model and, being the optimistic chap I was, figured that I might get a phone number if I played my cards right. (I did incidentally; she never picked up.) With Adriana Lima, however, the best-case scenario would involve her rejecting my awkward advances with regular mace rather than the stuff they use on bears.

Marko Jaric, though, risked taking a shot of pepper to the peepers and, beating lottery-type odds, ended up marrying she who causes worldwide trouser happiness every time she appears doing whatever it is she is supposed to do. Then, if the reports are to be believed, he turned his eye elsewhere and fucked up worse than the banks, making news as the dude dumb enough to cheat on Adriana Lima and get caught.

If his accuser is crying wolf, however, you have to feel for the guy. We’ll keep you updated as we hear more.

16 Comments: Marko Jaric Accused of Sexual Assault [Update: No Charges Will Be (...)

Posted by

on 03.15.2009

the comments are weird. I read it and have no problem with it. The problem is people come on and get all "internet tough guy" because of deficiencies in their real life. If you don’t like the site, why keep coming on and complaining? Social life please.... .

Posted by

on 03.15.2009

The posts on this site are so wierd. .

Posted by
Hey
on 03.15.2009

Pull this article or charges will be pressed. .

Posted by
GROW SOME BALLS
on 03.15.2009

Oh... and put your name up. LOL. Probably J. Kelly or J. Nugget. Sounds like something they would write. .

Posted by
GROW SOME BALLS
on 03.15.2009

Brains you area loser. He is still responsible for hat he says. Check some legislation before you talk. Fool. .

Posted by
GROW SOME BALLS
on 03.15.2009

Hurry up and get your name on this. I’m contacting MJ lawyer. .

Posted by
grow some brains
on 03.14.2009

it’s a website, moron. posting on a blog doesn’t make you a journalist any more than writing a letter makes you an author. not everyone who has access to a computer is a member of the media. .

Posted by
What is your name???
on 03.14.2009

Hey Brains. We just want his name on the article if he is going to wrongly insult someone through the media. .

Posted by
grow some brains
on 03.14.2009

ok geniuses - let’s take a proper look at the article instead of just skimming it.

"According to SI.com, Marko Jaric is being investigated for sexual assault."

that’s how the article starts. everything there is true. he was being investigated for sexual assault and SI did report that.

"If it is true that Jaric acted improperly"

that’s the next paragraph. take another look if you’re too stupid to get it the first time. the very first word is ’if’.

"Then, if the reports are to be believed, he turned his eye elsewhere"

did you all miss that as well?

If his accuser is crying wolf, however, you have to feel for the guy.

did nobody manage to read that far? not one part of the article says he definitely did it and the whole thing is based on a report in SI. are you all going to send angry, retarded emails to them now?

Posted by

on 03.14.2009

Put your name to it, or get it off this site. You should be sued for slandor!!!! .

Posted by

on 03.14.2009

Shut the f-up "Grow Some Balls" .

Posted by
Hey
on 03.13.2009

Its not just about looks as well you loser. Whoever wrote this put your name on it. How do you know the new girl is a step down from his wife?? This sounds like an article from someone who couldn’t get a women. .

Posted by
GROW SOME BALLS
on 03.13.2009

You idiot "grow some brains". They changed the article 30 mins after posting. So that validates my argument that they were spreading rumours which were untrue. Not something to Joke about. .

Posted by
grow some brains
on 03.13.2009

uh...the article specifically states that charges were dropped and even the original bit doesn’t say he did it. jeez...how can you write when you can’t read?? .

Posted by
GROW SOME BALLS
on 03.13.2009

AND WHY DID YOU PUT THAT CHICK AS THE PICTURE. DISGRACE!!! .

Posted by
GROW SOME BALLS
on 03.13.2009

Whoever wrote this, put your name on it. You coward. Accusing someone and spreading rumors. REPEAT WITH ME. NO CHARGES WERE PRESSED. .

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